Posts Tagged ‘Power Coaching Tools’

Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus

Wow, so much reflection, so little time…

This week I managed to squeeze six classes and two trial coaching sessions (where I was the client) in to my normal work/family/life… *phew*.  It took a lot of juggling, but it’s part of my goal to ’break the back’ of my coaching study, which will not only help me to stay motivated, but will get me a little bit closer to feeling comfortable enough to start to try to coach people…

But with that level of activity comes a whole lotta reflection.  I feel like my mind has expanded two-fold this week alone…  let me recap with:

THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY THINKING THIS WEEK

ONE | during a class, another student made a comment that was completely changed my perspective on how to ask for, and give effective feedback… she said that she asks her clients “What do you want more of from me?  What do you want less of from me?“  It’s so simple and yet so powerful to frame feedback in this way, rather than from a place of judgement such as what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  I am going to use this feedback tactic in so many areas of my life.

TWO | someone, somewhere, somehow made the declaration that for a human to feel empty is a bad thing.  If someone said to you “I’m feeling empty, talk to me” how would you respond?  Would you try to fill them up with positive feedback and reasons not to feel empty?  Or would you recognise that perhaps that person had just made room for something new in themselves and you had an amazing opportunity to talk about yourself with that person without fear of judgement?  That, I guess, is a roundabout way of explaining that as a coach (or a friend, or wife, or mother, or colleague for that matter!) to master power listening I must approach a client with a sense of emptiness in myself.  Clear myself of thoughts and feelings and opinions and make room for something new – my client’s perspective.

THREE | when there is silencein a conversation, how do you feel?  Awkward?  Uncomfortable?  Like you need to fill the silence with speaking?  I’d be interested in hearing if anyone knows of a culture in which silence is revered and cultivated (ok, so Buddhism is an obvious one that comes to mind) because I’d like to see if that culture’s reasons are similar to the reason I need to learn to be comfortable with silence as a coach… essentially if I can do this, I will be using a very powerful coaching technique, equivalent to the ability to ask powerful questions.  You see, my clients will more than likely not be comfortable with silence, and so if I can create silence, they will more that likely feel the urge to fill that silence and in doing so will share more of themselves with me, perhaps some of what they may have held back otherwise. 

FOUR | this week it became clear to me that the work I do in my current role is going to come in very handy as I work towards building my coaching model and process for my business.  In my day job, I work with strategies for taking a given audience on a journey from indifference, to insight and into action.  It’s a journey that is designed for marketing clients and therefore the actions are usually purchase, log on, subscribe, invest, etc.  It will be this same strategic thinking and journey design that will help me to build my coaching model and a powerful tool for delivering results for my clients.  That really excites me!  While it’s not a complete change in my thinking, it’s a change in the way I can utilise existing thinking for my new pathway.

FIVE| also this week I had a few interceptions from the universe (one was actually an argument with my husband – a very productive one because…) that brought me to uncover and completely commit to my niche for my coaching business.   In order to get there, I had to dig deep and ask myself the reasons why my previous niche thoughts just weren’t sitting right with me and then really give some thought to what I am passionate about and will derive emotional fulfillment from if I pursue it as a career.  Where did I arrive?  I plan on empowering instinctive parents to create positive family structures to raise happy, healthy and balanced kids.  (Big thanks goes to my new peer coach for helping me with that elevator pitch!)  Stay tuned for much more to come as I build the business and take it live.

So there you have it – a week of reflection and massive broadening of my thinking horizons.  I’d love you to make a comment about what you experienced this week that changed your thinking…!  Go on, don’t be shy.

Posted on July 22, 2009 - by Jus

104| Trust vs Doubt

I did this class a long time ago, when I first started my course, but I thought it was worth detailing my reflections from this topic on my blog, because I really believe this topic is a key element how I will continue to succeed in growing my thinking.

Doubt is talked about in this topic in the context of the worry, or concern, or agony we cause ourselves when we sit in judgement.  My therapist often talked about this same thing, but she called it “the should disease” – that is to say that while we take the judgement that something should be a certain way, or that a certain situation can be good or bad – then we will create Doubt in our lives instead of Trust.

Let me put it another way… if I am of the opinion that my husband should react in a certain way when I get home from work in a bad mood, then I am creating a judgement that causes concern or hurt in me when he reacts in a different way, or a way that I perceive to be ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.  That can then lead to even further judgements and wind up creating even further Doubt in me with regards to my relationship.

However, if I was to approach that same situation from the perspective of Trust, I may feel more empowered to act rather than wait for his reaction… I might come home in my bad mood, explain to him why I am feeling so rotten and ask him to fetch me a glass of wine while I take a bath and ‘wash away the day’… would my husband have any other reaction than to do ask I politely asked him?  Of course not!

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Posted on July 14, 2009 - by Jus

100 Reasons I Should Be Your Coach

As part of the Game vs Significance lesson, it’s going to be important for me to document all the reasons why anyone would want to hire me as their coach.  This will do two things;

a) it may assist me with building my business brand personality and values.

b) it will help me to become a huge advocate for coaching which I hope to be able to generate an income from in the coming years, so the more people know about coaching, and me, the better.

So to that end, I have started to create a list of 100 things I offer as a coach.  Here is what I have do far… (more…)

Posted on July 13, 2009 - by Jus

108 | Game vs Significance

Tonight’s coaching class was about having fun while you coach.  Most importantly, how to help clients that have a tendency to get stuck in “signficance” or too heavy or serious about something, to view that same situation as more of a game so they can have fun and lighten up.

I know I am guilty of being a little too significant a lot of the time.  I do take life seriously, so I can often forget to lighten up and have fun.  So this topic is just as much about me growing in myself as it is helping my clients to do so too.

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Posted on July 2, 2009 - by Jus

102 | Commitment vs Trying

The first topic in the Power Tools subject of my Coaching Course is called Commitment vs Trying.  In fact, every topic in the subject is a ‘vs’ proposition.  Which I quite like, it’s a great way to see the juxtaposition of two ends of a spectrum and the impact of each.

The premise is that no matter what you are doing or thinking or saying at any given moment of the day, you are committed to something.  Even that man in the comic who is being told by his girlfriend that he is a commitment-phobe, is committed to something… he’s committed to avoiding being tied down by a relationship.

The course talks a lot about Underlying Automatic Commitments (UAC) and how as a coach, my role will be to show my clients what their UACs might be in order for them to make a decision about how best to move forward.

Perhaps this is best explained with the discussion questions…

What are three things in your life that you have committed to and achieved?

1. When I went back to full time work, I committed to leaving the office no later than 5pm each day so that I can spend as much time as possible with my son before his bedtime of 7.30pm.  I have achieved this, 95% of the time I am out the door and in my car on the way to my son by 5pm.

2. I recently committed to reorganising my house so that it’s not so cluttered, every room is organised.  Over the past two weeks I have rearranged furniture, bought storage systems, thrown away items not needed and given away clothing and toys to the local thrift shop.

3. I committed at the beginning of this year to eating less meat, with a view to eliminating it from my diet entirely by the end of 2009.  Thus far I have managed to reduce my meat intake to once or twice a week and I am on track to have eliminated it entirely well before the end of the year.

What are three things you have been trying to achieve for a long time, but haven’t?

1. I have wanted to do this life coaching course and graduate from it so that I can begin my new career as a certified professional coach.

2. I have wanted to get my clarinet re-padded and fit for use by my son so that he can begin to learn to play a musical instrument.

3. I have wanted to paint something on canvas to give to my friend’s daughter.

Why have you been able to achieve the things in question one, but not those in question two?

Those things in question one are things that I have committed myself to.  I have diarised them, made them a priority, considered a plan to achieve them and then set about putting those steps in place.

Whereas the items in question two, my commitments have lay elsewhere.  Until just this past month, I had not made the commitment to finishing my study, not diarised the lessons or ample study time.  I have not done any research on where I should take my clarinet, I have made mental notes to do it, but it’s never made it on to the daily checklist of ‘must do today’ items.  I started the painting for my friend’s daughter, I even told my friend that I was doing it, but if I am honest, I have been committed to doing other things… building a new blog, working on my marriage, getting on top of my day job workload…

What structures do you have in place to support your commitments?

I find that I need to do a couple of things to support my commitments.  First, I need to diarise it.  In doing this, I am making it a priority in my week and assigning the necessary time to dedicate to it.  Second, I often need to add it to a list, have it in black and white so that I can ‘check it off’ physically in some way.  My 101 List is an example of this, as is my workbook with my daily to do list.  I also keep little notes of things to do in my phone’s memo pad.  And finally, I need a deadline – without a timeframe I will let things slide and turn my focus to other commitments that do have a timeframe!

Can you think of any UACs you might have which empower you and make your life better?

Most certainly.  My UAC of viewing every experience as a life lesson empowers me to stay positive and look for the good and/or the lesson in every situation.  My UAC that my family comes before anything else empowers me to ensure I maintain a positive work/life balance.  My UAC that I am in control of my own fate helps me to continually make decisions to move myself forward and not dwell in negativity.

So – some questions for you!  What’s your UAC?  Is it empowering you?  Could you have a more powerful UAC instead?