Posts Tagged ‘Life Coaching Study’

Posted on August 26, 2009 - by Jus

105 | Creating Action

I have too much action in my life right now.  I am looking at all the balls I am trying to keep in the air and trying to work out how to prioritise, create structures and coordinate all the actions that I have going on in my head so that I can systematically get through them and closer to my goals.  I feel like an action figure without all my limbs right now.

I am not really someone who needs to create action – I think sometimes I need to limit it.  I am working through how best to create some structures to help me do that, along with my coach who has been really helpful at helping me to uncover why I am “never satisfied’ and even when I complete a bunch of really great actions – I am still only focusing on what is left to do, not celebrating what I have achieved already.

Which brings me to tonight’s lesson – part two of Creating Action.

Reflecting on this has been interesting, because so much of what goes on in the world is about creating actions.  If I want my child to clean his room – the quick way to do that is to tell him to do it, effectively giving him no choice or context (the why) in order to illicit the action I desire from him.  Then at the other end of the scale, in my day job as a marketer, we spend the better part of the day discussing how to create the very best context possible – through experience and storytelling – to illicit an action from an audience… that could be anything from buying, subscribing, logging on, voting, advocating or any number of other ‘desirable’ engagements marketers and brands seek every day.

But even in that last example, there is no success in just creating the context, filling the audience to the brim with all the benefits to them, the promises of the outcomes they seek… without pointing them in the right direction – towards the action you hope they will take.

Whether it’s a ‘buy now’ button on a webpage, or a form to fill in to hear more from that brand, or a URL on a piece of merchandise that you can take away to look up later, or giving you the tools to share that experience with your friends… illiciting action needs to be somewhat directional.

So how do you find the balance as a coach – the theory of a coach is that the client comes up with their own actions, right?  Most people with a brain in their head can tell you the most logical, or shortest, or most effective way to get from A to B.  Logically outlining the actions to get from where you are now, to where you want to be should be relatively simple.

But we are humans.  And therefore complex.  The actions that are valuable to one person are not valuable to another.  Which is why I believe a coach’s role in creating action with their clients is to uncover the CONTEXT – the values of that person, their strengths (and their weaknesses) and what they may actually need to take away from their life in order to pave the way for these new actions and the big goal.

This made me think about my son and all the other parents with children who try every way they can think of to get their children to take the actions that are right for them… eat more vegetables, do their homework, play outside instead of watching TV….  Perhaps there is value in taking the time (and let’s face it, it takes time) to help that child to uncover their own context.  What kind of person do they want to be?  Fit and healthy?  Smart and capable?  Let them identify what values they hold for themselves, and identify their own strengths and weaknesses.  Then they are in a position to commit to the actions they need to take to be that person.  They want to be fit and healthy?  Then they commit to eating well and staying active – if one of those is a weakness they have identified, then maybe they will ask for their parent’s help to keep them on track… meaning they are welcoming the ‘reminders’ (aka nagging) as a support to help them be what they want to be.

Hmmmm.  Something I am going to try out on my son this weekend.  I am sure there is an age threshold for this theory, but I would be interested in seeing whether this is a method of motivating kids into action without use of bribery, rewards or oodles of positive reinforcement.

What do you think?

Posted on August 19, 2009 - by Jus

106 | Trial Sessions

A trial session is one of the ways coaches ease prospective clients into the concept of coaching, and they are also a way of determining whether there is a mutual fit between coach and client.  It’s my opinion that there is no set formula for a trial session, because every client is different and as a good coach, I should be able to take their cues and create the trial session that I think they need or want, not what I think they should need or want.  If that makes sense…

I was at the National Speaker’s Association meeting the other night and listened to a great speaker by the name of Keith Dugdale.  He talked about an structure – “I – We – You” – for building rapport with clients in the first 40 seconds.  The structure really hit home for me and it’s something I plan on using as a framework for my trial sessions.

What is it?

“I” – or setting up the purpose of the trial session from my point of view.
This is where I will explain in a quick sentence why we’re having this trial session.  I might say something like “…so would you agree that the purpose of us meeting today for this trial session is to see if coaching might be valuable for you right now, and whether I am the right coach for you?”

“We” – or establishing the process the two of us will embark on to achieve that purpose.
So this is where I might outline (loosely) what the client should expect from the next 45-60 minutes:
a) client sharing what brought them to me / to consider coaching
b) client sharing what they hope to achieve with their coaching
c) me answering any questions they may have about coaching, about me, about my coaching style
I may end this explanation with a question like “does that sound ok to you,” or “does that work for you?” and “is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

“You” – or establishing the value that the client hopes to walk away from the trial session with.
This is the beginning of the client starting to share why they are here with me in this trial session, perhaps commencing with me asking something like “…so, what would you like to walk away from this session with?”  And if the client finds this hard to articulate, I could offer suggestions to help them identify the value they want to receive in the session:
a) would you like to know by the end of the session if I’m the right coach for you?
b) would you like to walk away with the first step to take towards your goal?

If these three points are covered off in the first few minutes of the session, it should help me to read their cues and modify my coaching style, the session’s pace and be focused on the outcome the client has identified as their goal for the session.  Because if that outcome is achieved, then there is no need to “sell” the client with a bunch of “features and benefits” that I am simply telling them because I will have shown/demonstrated them instead.

REFLECTION & APPLICATION FROM THIS MODULE

I quite like the reflection exercise in this module, it challenges me to write ten probing questions I could use to uncover my client’s goal or dream in such a way that it generates excitement and inspiration in them…. so here goes:

1. What is one thing you would love to change about your life?

2. What is one things you would you like more of in your life?

3. What kind of person do you hope your child will become?

4. What kind of parent do you want to be to support your child in that?

5. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your child, what would it be?

6. What do you think it will feel like when you’ve finished with coaching and achieved this goal?

7. Which of those goals do you think is the most important to you right now?

8. In the next three months, what would you love to have / achieve / see or feel?

9. What’s missing in your life?

10. What do you think a coach can provide you with that you haven’t had in the past?

And, it also asks to list five major objections or concerns that the client may express with regards to setting up ongoing coaching with me… and to create an honest response which with enthuse the prospective client….  I actually have no idea what objections to anticipate.  Can anyone help me here and I will do my best to frame what I believe my responses would be?

Posted on August 14, 2009 - by Jus

Confidently Me

In a moment, I have part two of one of the most inspiring topics to date in my course.  It’s centered on the issue of “confidence” as a coach and how crucial this is in being the very best coach one can be, and the impact confidence not only has on the coaching client, but on the coach’s business.

In writing my biography this week for my website, I started to really doubt myself and my ability to be ‘taken seriously’ by potential clients given what I perceived to be large holes in my experience or credentials.  I found writing my biography really difficult, because the experience I have when it comes to parenting and children is not from formal training, it is from blood, sweat and tears… from doing it all on my own as a single parent for the past 6 years.  Does that give me the right to work with parents in the capacity as a coach? ……

The confidence class cleared that right up for me.  The very best thing that I can be for my clients is ME.  The most confident and self-assured version of me.  Because I do not plan on being all things to all people (or all parents, for that matter) but if I can stay authentic to myself and my passion, I will naturally attract people that can see the value in that.

She even made mention of a coach she knows who only coaches in the nude.  With face to face clients too, not just on the phone!  This is a man who is authentically himself and commited to his own unique style and he attracts clients that love that.

To help me to cement that, Angela Bird set us the task of describing how I can add value to people’s lives with my coaching business…. and by that she means the service my coaching business provides, not “me” per se.  And to make that even more specific… what are four things that are uniquely me and ’special’ about my service?

So here is where I am at with that very helpful challenge:

My coaching business adds value to my clients’ lives by:

• building confidence in their own parenting ability and style
• equipping them with positive family structures to assist them to be the parent they have always wanted to be
• providing them with the tools to achieve life/work/family balance and make room for themselves as a priority
• enabling access to on-going parenting skill and perception development so they can remain proactive in their parenting

Four things that are uniquely me and ’special’ about this?

ONE | The program is founded on the belief that every parent intuitively has the answers to their own value-based approach to parenting.  I will not be telling clients ‘what to do’, but helping them to build confidence in their own parenting intuition.

TWO | The program doesn’t rely on just me as a coach, it also provides way and means to connect with likeminded parents through workshops, teleseminars and group coaching.

THREE | My passion is to empower parents with a coach-approach to their lives and their families, that doesn’t necessarily require a early-childhood degree, or credentials as a ‘child expert’ – I just need to be the best coach I can be!

FOUR | The program taps into some of the best and most reputable knowledge of “parenting experts” as a platform from which my clients can build their skills and confidence as an intuitive parent.  They get all that wrapped in the package of a passionate coach who is there to support, empower and inspire them to be their greatest version of themselves!!

Posted on August 13, 2009 - by Jus

Commitment to Milestones

The lack of posting on my blog is usually a sign that I am juggling many areas of my life, over-commiting myself and attempting to achieve a number of things all at the same time.

This past couple of weeks is no different.  Since starting with my peer coach, I have felt hyper charged in the bid to launch my business, even if only as a ’soft launch’ and start to gather the momentum and experience I know I will need in order to be in a position to quit my day job in June 2010.

That’s “the goal” if you like and it’s a biggun.  For many years I have talked (a lot) about getting out of the industry I have spent over a decade with and working for myself in a business that satiated my emotional needs as well as my financial and intellectual needs… it’s always been fear that has held me back and I am determined not to let fear stand in my way any longer.

You know how some people kind of live by the seat of their pants?  Live each day as it comes and rarely let more than the next 24 hours occupy their minds?  Well… that’s definitely not me.  I am a planner.  I goal setter.  A future-focused over-thinker.  By the time I get to a situation, I have generally considered almost every possible problem or issue that could arise and have made moves to anticipate these.  It comes from being a strategic personality I guess… or maybe that is euphemism for control freak…!

So in planning for the big goal of June 2010… I have started to set some key milestones.  At the same time, I have just finished the class on Goal Setting and although I didn’t necessarily learn anything new about the way I set goals, I did learn a bit about how much I often stress myself out by scoping out every last detail of what I need to do to reach that goal and giving them timeframes… which in turn overwhelms me and panders to the perfectionist in me…. which ultimately holds me back because I then get stuck in the frame of thinking “how could I possibly launch that, do that, tick off that milestone… unless I finish all the steps first?”

Sometimes it would do me well not to plan so much.  To just set a date and commit to the milestone being finished by that date and then using whatever resources I have available to achieving it.  Not disimilar to the way I have always managed people in my teams over the course of my career… when delegating, I set the task in the form of a ‘desired outcome’ and be clear about the expectations with respect to quality, boundaries and the deadline.  Then I set that person off to achieve that outcome in whatever way they feel is best.  If I was to prescibe the path or means by which they achieved the outcome, they would simply become ‘order takers’ and not show any initative of their own.

So why do I find it so difficult to use this theory with my own milestones?  Define the outcome, establish acceptable expectations for quality, boundaries and the deadline and then let myself get there in whatever way feels right as I go through the process…. rather than meticulously planning that process and freaking myself out with how many steps are involved!

To that end, this is me, setting milestones in the form of outcomes.  And I plan on holding myself to these, so stay tuned for updates!

Milestone 1
Outcome : my brand is established/launched and I can begin to market myself.
Expectations : Includes launching my business’ website with even the most basic of content (minimum 1on1 coaching and 1 workshop service) having business cards printed and newsletter subscription service, so that I have the foundation from which to build and grow between now and June 2010.
Deadline : August 23rd, 2009

Milestone 2
Outcome : facilitating workshop confidence.
Expectations : doesn’t matter what format the first workshop is in (live or teleclass) so long as it’s conducted and feedback is recorded for future learning.  Doesn’t matter if the attendees are paying or not.
Deadline : September 10th, 2009

Milestone 3
Outcome : one on one coaching confidence.
Expectations : involves at least one ICA peer coaching client and at least one non-ICA peer coaching client for a minimum of 12 sessions per client, with feedback sought and received.
Deadline : November 8th, 2009

Posted on August 5, 2009 - by Jus

Six Steps to a GREAT Trial Session

Last week I had a completely inspiring trial session with my new peer coach.  Ruba very politely asked if I could articulate why it was so great and I think that’s a great thing to reflect on in a post… Every new coach would love to be able to nail their trial sessions and turn the coachee that enjoyed their trial session into a paying client, so here is a list of six things that Lauren did (or didn’t do) that won me over…

1. | Pre-Qualification
When Lauren approached me for the trial session, she offered me her two websites to view.  These gave me a really good insight into her as a person and as a coach.  Captivating Life told me that she was a compassionate woman, with a worthy cause.  While her other site told me that she was a woman with sophistication in her approach to business.  I also really loved the fact that she included a profile picture of herself on her sites, which to me expressed an element of approachability and allowed me to visualise her while I was on the phone with her for our trial session.

2. | Efficiency in Appointment Setup
Making a time for our trial session was done within moments, even though we are in completely different timezones.  I had just come off the back of a stream of emails attempting to set a time for a trial session with another peer coach that ended up being placed in the “too hard” basket, so in contrast, this ease of doing business with Lauren was welcomed and noted.

3. | Getting to Know You
At the commencement of the call, Lauren took the time to get to know me a little by asking a few basic questions about Australia and Melbourne, and allowed me to ask her a couple of similarly basic questions which really helped to break the ice and create some rapport between us.  From this 5 minute dialogue to begin with, I established that we shared a similar kind of energy in our voices when we talked, laughed at a couple of the same things and ‘connected’ in a way that felt like a peer to peer relationship, which took some of the formality out of it without losing any professionalism (which for me, can make me feel uncomfortable).

4. | Power Listening
There should be no surprise here for ICA students, but this is a crucial element!  Once we got stuck into it, Lauren asked me what my goals were for the coming year and then opened the floor for me to just talk.  I had just that week discovered a few things about my niche and made some decisions about the business I hope to build over the next year, but I had not discussed it with anyone yet.  Lauren had made me feel so comfortable in that first 5 minutes of rapport building that I literally spilled over with telling her everything that had been going on in my brain that week and what that meant for my short, medium and long term goals for my business.  She made all the right noises as I unloaded my brain into the phone and when I finally paused for breath, she took a few seconds (pause) and then reconfirmed everything she had heard from me in a few short, sharp and succinct sentences.  She then asked some very poignant questions – “how would you describe the target audience for that”, “what kind of person do you want to attract to this business”, “what kind of person don’t you want to attract”, always allowing me ample time to consider my response and always summarising and clarifying what I was saying as I continued to talk.

5. | Down to Business
I am not sure if this is standard practice for Lauren in her trial sessions, or whether she sensed in me that I was an action-oriented person who is always more motivated when I am getting “stuck into the task at hand” rather than just talking about it… if it’s the latter, then even more kudos to her because she read me very well!  The point being that it wasn’t long into the call that Lauren suggested that we spend 15 minutes identifying my ‘elevator pitch’ to help cement some of what I had been saying into a really concise framework of explanation.  She took me straight into action - asking me three ‘formula’ questions for me that allowed her to help me to come up with this elevator pitch… it was so simple and effective that I really could not believe that after such a short period of time, she had helped me to clearly express the goals/purpose of my business idea.  I literally walked away from my trial session with tangible value that I didn’t have before I started the call.

6. | Immediate Follow Up
Interestingly, my trial session was actually interrupted by technical difficulties (thanks Skype), so again I am not sure if this is Lauren’s standard practice or whether it was a function of us not being able to complete our call… but I immediately received an email from Lauren after our session with the notes/options to allow me to construct the elevator pitch of my choice, a direct request to be afforded the opportunity to continue working with me in building my business and three things to think about between now and our next session (again, driving that action that motivates me so much!)

I’m looking forward to my next session and will be sure to keep adding to the list of reflections and learnings…

Posted on August 3, 2009 - by Jus

The Coaching Process

Tonight I will be taking Part 2 of the Coaching Process classes and last week we were asked to reflect on what our own coaching process might look like from the client’s point-of-view.

I have to admit, I really loved doing this as it brought all of my strategic and ‘experiential design’ experience to the table and allowed me to apply it to my new business venture.  It took me no time at all and I am really really happy with the outcome.  It will be interesting to share in tonight’s class and hear other’s feedback…  I debated whether to post it here in the public forum, but decided against it as I think I should keep some things as my own intellectual property.

In short though, I have constructed a process that looks at:

a) The emotional journey of the client – from base state of ‘curious, hopeful, skeptical’ through to the end state of ‘breakthrough, elation, achievement, success’ that takes into account the natural ebbs and flows as the client faces setbacks, doubts, challenging perspectives and underlying automatic commitments.

b) Then it profiles the Coaching Process from the perspective of the Client, outlining what they can expect to be supported with across the course of their journey, and

c) The Coaching Process from the perspective of the Coach, including the tools that may be most beneficial at each stage of the journey for the Client. 

b) and c) naturally intersect but this helps me to define the way in which to communicate the process to the client without confusing them with “coach terminology”.

I am really looking forward to using this to assist me to develop my Coaching Model (for assessment purposes as well as for the success of my coaching business) and to guide the copywriting for my Welcome Pack for new clients.

Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus

Wow, so much reflection, so little time…

This week I managed to squeeze six classes and two trial coaching sessions (where I was the client) in to my normal work/family/life… *phew*.  It took a lot of juggling, but it’s part of my goal to ’break the back’ of my coaching study, which will not only help me to stay motivated, but will get me a little bit closer to feeling comfortable enough to start to try to coach people…

But with that level of activity comes a whole lotta reflection.  I feel like my mind has expanded two-fold this week alone…  let me recap with:

THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY THINKING THIS WEEK

ONE | during a class, another student made a comment that was completely changed my perspective on how to ask for, and give effective feedback… she said that she asks her clients “What do you want more of from me?  What do you want less of from me?“  It’s so simple and yet so powerful to frame feedback in this way, rather than from a place of judgement such as what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  I am going to use this feedback tactic in so many areas of my life.

TWO | someone, somewhere, somehow made the declaration that for a human to feel empty is a bad thing.  If someone said to you “I’m feeling empty, talk to me” how would you respond?  Would you try to fill them up with positive feedback and reasons not to feel empty?  Or would you recognise that perhaps that person had just made room for something new in themselves and you had an amazing opportunity to talk about yourself with that person without fear of judgement?  That, I guess, is a roundabout way of explaining that as a coach (or a friend, or wife, or mother, or colleague for that matter!) to master power listening I must approach a client with a sense of emptiness in myself.  Clear myself of thoughts and feelings and opinions and make room for something new – my client’s perspective.

THREE | when there is silencein a conversation, how do you feel?  Awkward?  Uncomfortable?  Like you need to fill the silence with speaking?  I’d be interested in hearing if anyone knows of a culture in which silence is revered and cultivated (ok, so Buddhism is an obvious one that comes to mind) because I’d like to see if that culture’s reasons are similar to the reason I need to learn to be comfortable with silence as a coach… essentially if I can do this, I will be using a very powerful coaching technique, equivalent to the ability to ask powerful questions.  You see, my clients will more than likely not be comfortable with silence, and so if I can create silence, they will more that likely feel the urge to fill that silence and in doing so will share more of themselves with me, perhaps some of what they may have held back otherwise. 

FOUR | this week it became clear to me that the work I do in my current role is going to come in very handy as I work towards building my coaching model and process for my business.  In my day job, I work with strategies for taking a given audience on a journey from indifference, to insight and into action.  It’s a journey that is designed for marketing clients and therefore the actions are usually purchase, log on, subscribe, invest, etc.  It will be this same strategic thinking and journey design that will help me to build my coaching model and a powerful tool for delivering results for my clients.  That really excites me!  While it’s not a complete change in my thinking, it’s a change in the way I can utilise existing thinking for my new pathway.

FIVE| also this week I had a few interceptions from the universe (one was actually an argument with my husband – a very productive one because…) that brought me to uncover and completely commit to my niche for my coaching business.   In order to get there, I had to dig deep and ask myself the reasons why my previous niche thoughts just weren’t sitting right with me and then really give some thought to what I am passionate about and will derive emotional fulfillment from if I pursue it as a career.  Where did I arrive?  I plan on empowering instinctive parents to create positive family structures to raise happy, healthy and balanced kids.  (Big thanks goes to my new peer coach for helping me with that elevator pitch!)  Stay tuned for much more to come as I build the business and take it live.

So there you have it – a week of reflection and massive broadening of my thinking horizons.  I’d love you to make a comment about what you experienced this week that changed your thinking…!  Go on, don’t be shy.

Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus

Totally Inspired

As part of my course, I get to be a coaching client for another student (and a little further down the track, I get to also coach other students to practice and ‘learn on the job’)… it’s called Peer Coaching.

This week I set up a few ‘trial sessions’ with some of the students that had expressed an interest in being my peer coach and they were all really great.  However, tonight’s was really amazing.  Funny thing is, I think I knew in advance of even speaking to her that I would love working with her, the universe has a funny way of sending the right people into my life at just the right times and when I first got her email and looked through her website, I think I sorta just *knew*.

So my new peer coach that I will be working with over the coming 12 weeks is Lauren Fritsch and I am totally inspired by the prospect of working with such a talented, vibrant, articulate and personable coach.

Very grateful to the universe for sending Lauren my way.