Posts Tagged ‘Foundation Coach’

Posted on August 19, 2009 - by Jus

106 | Trial Sessions

A trial session is one of the ways coaches ease prospective clients into the concept of coaching, and they are also a way of determining whether there is a mutual fit between coach and client.  It’s my opinion that there is no set formula for a trial session, because every client is different and as a good coach, I should be able to take their cues and create the trial session that I think they need or want, not what I think they should need or want.  If that makes sense…

I was at the National Speaker’s Association meeting the other night and listened to a great speaker by the name of Keith Dugdale.  He talked about an structure – “I – We – You” – for building rapport with clients in the first 40 seconds.  The structure really hit home for me and it’s something I plan on using as a framework for my trial sessions.

What is it?

“I” – or setting up the purpose of the trial session from my point of view.
This is where I will explain in a quick sentence why we’re having this trial session.  I might say something like “…so would you agree that the purpose of us meeting today for this trial session is to see if coaching might be valuable for you right now, and whether I am the right coach for you?”

“We” – or establishing the process the two of us will embark on to achieve that purpose.
So this is where I might outline (loosely) what the client should expect from the next 45-60 minutes:
a) client sharing what brought them to me / to consider coaching
b) client sharing what they hope to achieve with their coaching
c) me answering any questions they may have about coaching, about me, about my coaching style
I may end this explanation with a question like “does that sound ok to you,” or “does that work for you?” and “is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

“You” – or establishing the value that the client hopes to walk away from the trial session with.
This is the beginning of the client starting to share why they are here with me in this trial session, perhaps commencing with me asking something like “…so, what would you like to walk away from this session with?”  And if the client finds this hard to articulate, I could offer suggestions to help them identify the value they want to receive in the session:
a) would you like to know by the end of the session if I’m the right coach for you?
b) would you like to walk away with the first step to take towards your goal?

If these three points are covered off in the first few minutes of the session, it should help me to read their cues and modify my coaching style, the session’s pace and be focused on the outcome the client has identified as their goal for the session.  Because if that outcome is achieved, then there is no need to “sell” the client with a bunch of “features and benefits” that I am simply telling them because I will have shown/demonstrated them instead.

REFLECTION & APPLICATION FROM THIS MODULE

I quite like the reflection exercise in this module, it challenges me to write ten probing questions I could use to uncover my client’s goal or dream in such a way that it generates excitement and inspiration in them…. so here goes:

1. What is one thing you would love to change about your life?

2. What is one things you would you like more of in your life?

3. What kind of person do you hope your child will become?

4. What kind of parent do you want to be to support your child in that?

5. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your child, what would it be?

6. What do you think it will feel like when you’ve finished with coaching and achieved this goal?

7. Which of those goals do you think is the most important to you right now?

8. In the next three months, what would you love to have / achieve / see or feel?

9. What’s missing in your life?

10. What do you think a coach can provide you with that you haven’t had in the past?

And, it also asks to list five major objections or concerns that the client may express with regards to setting up ongoing coaching with me… and to create an honest response which with enthuse the prospective client….  I actually have no idea what objections to anticipate.  Can anyone help me here and I will do my best to frame what I believe my responses would be?

Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus

Wow, so much reflection, so little time…

This week I managed to squeeze six classes and two trial coaching sessions (where I was the client) in to my normal work/family/life… *phew*.  It took a lot of juggling, but it’s part of my goal to ’break the back’ of my coaching study, which will not only help me to stay motivated, but will get me a little bit closer to feeling comfortable enough to start to try to coach people…

But with that level of activity comes a whole lotta reflection.  I feel like my mind has expanded two-fold this week alone…  let me recap with:

THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY THINKING THIS WEEK

ONE | during a class, another student made a comment that was completely changed my perspective on how to ask for, and give effective feedback… she said that she asks her clients “What do you want more of from me?  What do you want less of from me?“  It’s so simple and yet so powerful to frame feedback in this way, rather than from a place of judgement such as what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  I am going to use this feedback tactic in so many areas of my life.

TWO | someone, somewhere, somehow made the declaration that for a human to feel empty is a bad thing.  If someone said to you “I’m feeling empty, talk to me” how would you respond?  Would you try to fill them up with positive feedback and reasons not to feel empty?  Or would you recognise that perhaps that person had just made room for something new in themselves and you had an amazing opportunity to talk about yourself with that person without fear of judgement?  That, I guess, is a roundabout way of explaining that as a coach (or a friend, or wife, or mother, or colleague for that matter!) to master power listening I must approach a client with a sense of emptiness in myself.  Clear myself of thoughts and feelings and opinions and make room for something new – my client’s perspective.

THREE | when there is silencein a conversation, how do you feel?  Awkward?  Uncomfortable?  Like you need to fill the silence with speaking?  I’d be interested in hearing if anyone knows of a culture in which silence is revered and cultivated (ok, so Buddhism is an obvious one that comes to mind) because I’d like to see if that culture’s reasons are similar to the reason I need to learn to be comfortable with silence as a coach… essentially if I can do this, I will be using a very powerful coaching technique, equivalent to the ability to ask powerful questions.  You see, my clients will more than likely not be comfortable with silence, and so if I can create silence, they will more that likely feel the urge to fill that silence and in doing so will share more of themselves with me, perhaps some of what they may have held back otherwise. 

FOUR | this week it became clear to me that the work I do in my current role is going to come in very handy as I work towards building my coaching model and process for my business.  In my day job, I work with strategies for taking a given audience on a journey from indifference, to insight and into action.  It’s a journey that is designed for marketing clients and therefore the actions are usually purchase, log on, subscribe, invest, etc.  It will be this same strategic thinking and journey design that will help me to build my coaching model and a powerful tool for delivering results for my clients.  That really excites me!  While it’s not a complete change in my thinking, it’s a change in the way I can utilise existing thinking for my new pathway.

FIVE| also this week I had a few interceptions from the universe (one was actually an argument with my husband – a very productive one because…) that brought me to uncover and completely commit to my niche for my coaching business.   In order to get there, I had to dig deep and ask myself the reasons why my previous niche thoughts just weren’t sitting right with me and then really give some thought to what I am passionate about and will derive emotional fulfillment from if I pursue it as a career.  Where did I arrive?  I plan on empowering instinctive parents to create positive family structures to raise happy, healthy and balanced kids.  (Big thanks goes to my new peer coach for helping me with that elevator pitch!)  Stay tuned for much more to come as I build the business and take it live.

So there you have it – a week of reflection and massive broadening of my thinking horizons.  I’d love you to make a comment about what you experienced this week that changed your thinking…!  Go on, don’t be shy.

Posted on July 20, 2009 - by Jus

107 | Power Listening

You’ve heard of active listening, well my course goes one step further.  As a coach, an even more refined skill level in listening is required : Power Listening.  It’s got all the elements of active listening – listening attentively, paraphrasing to acknowledge you’ve heard, checking perceptions to demonstrate that feelings are also being heard – and adding a few extra powerful elements.

Waiting – the act of waiting approximately 10 seconds before replying to what has just been said allows the other person the space to finish their thoughts and feelings.

Asking for more – asking careful questions to ensure the other person has completely explored their thoughts and feelings.

Responding rather than consoling – listening as a coach is about listening objectively and responding in a consoling manner can actually hinder the client in expressing their thoughts and feelings in full.  So instead, the focus is on small acknowledgements that they are being heard to encourage more sharing.

Being empathetic and non-judgemental – the ground rule is “it is not your job to point out to someone what you think he or she may be missing.”  Judgements can impair listening.

Moving to action – because power listening isn’t about just letting someone rant and vent, it’s about helping them to understanding how these thoughts and feelings can help them to move forward.

Using intuition – listening from the heart and using more than just your ears to listen… now that is power listening!

So my reflection questions from this class were…

What are five things that a coach needs to listen for with a client?

Listening to a) what they are saying, b) what they are feeling (emotions), c) what their perceptions are, d) for the link or applications to their current goals and e) for what is not said but is just as important!

Which of the listening strategies in this unit do you actively apply and which would you like more practice with?

I definitely need more work on the WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) principle, particularly in my relationship with my husband!  I also need more practice with listening without judgement.

I do think I can actively listen when I apply myself and I try not to interrupt and ask questions to help the person explore what they are thinking and feeling further.

What is the difference between ‘rambling and venting’ and genuinely unpacking an issue?

I think that when a person is rambling or venting, they are ‘releasing steam’ as opposed to being really mindful and considering everything they are saying.  To be mindful means that the person talking is learning from their own words as much as the listener is as talking things through can often lead the client to devise their own conclusions or solutions.

Posted on July 2, 2009 - by Jus

103 | Effective Feedback

The concept of using effective feedback as a coach is based on the principles of using compassion and truth to open up new opportunities for clients.  It’s somewhat related to Perspective, because effective feedback can create a kind of awareness that makes a difference to how one sees things.

To give you examples, I am going to answer the discussion questions for this topic:

What kind of feedback has made a difference for you?

I can think of three instances where some very effective feedback made an enormous difference to my life. 

1.  A previous boss once told me “we’d like you to show the clients more of the Justine we get to see here in the office”
He made this comment in reference to my tendency to ‘over-professionalise’ my manner with clients.  I knew this came from being placed in management positions from a very young age and a sense of insecurity about being seen as ‘out of my depth’ or ‘too young for the job’.  But ultimately I took his feedback on board, showed more of my quirky side and clients really warmed to it!

2.  A friend once told me that I am generous to a fault and that I take on too much.
I took that as meaning I am a walk over!  No seriously I could see what she meant – I needed to learn when and how to say ‘no’.  I have become a lot better at this and it’s made an enormous difference to my life.

3.  A therapist once told me that she had observed that I take on too much responsibility for the deterioration of my relationship with my father.
Which was true at the time.  This feedback helped me to reframe my perspective and see more clearly where he was at fault and not to automatically take the blame.  It was very nourishing for my soul to have this feedback!

What kind of feedback has left you disempowered?

“Feedback” that is dismissive or invalidating.  To be told “I don’t see what you’re so worked up about” can make me feel very tiny, misunderstood and hurt.  Similar types of “feedback” are comments like “I think you’re being ridiculous”, “no you’re wrong” and “why on earth would you think/say/do that?”.

What is the difference between feedback and criticism?

Feedback comes from an objective place, free of judgement and opinion.  It is based on observations and a level of empathy for the person’s thoughts, feelings and reactions.  It offers a different point of view which is heavily grounded, and communicated, in understanding.  It is neither positive, nor negative.

Criticism comes from a subjective place, it is riddled with judgements and opinions which are based on your own thoughts, feelings and reactions.  It may be a different point of view, but it displays no level of understanding or empathy for the other person.  As a result, the person receiving this “false feedback” will perceive it as negative.

What is the purpose of feedback in a coaching situation?

Feedback is designed as another form of reframing perspective.  In a coaching situation it plays a role in helping the client to see things differently through insights not previously discovered, opening their mind to other opportunities or expanding their vision.

Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Jus

102 | Perspective

The second ‘chapter’ in my course, from the Foundation Coach subject, is all about Perspective.  It starts out by saying that the concept of perspective is so powerful and fundamental, that I could coach from this alone, without using any of the other coaching tecniques taught in the course and still be a powerful coach.

It almost sounds too good to be true, but then it is our perspective that determines our experiences in life, not our circumstances… so if you keep that in mind then it becomes pretty clear why perspective, or the reframing of it, can be such a powerful tool in life.

Some discussion questions were posed in this topic, that I have answered in below.

1. When have you experienced a change in your perspective?  What did it take for you to change your point of view?

In 2002, I fell pregnant with my son who is now six years old.  At the time, I was 24 years old and certainly hadn’t planned nor expected this to happen.  It was this ‘life changing event’ that saw me change my view on the world, my role in life and my priorities.  That is obviously a very drastic example, so another would be my approach to money management.

I spent most of my 20s with the view that consumer debt was okay so long as I had the means to pay it off.  But I have since come to reframe this perspective and realise this to be one of the reasons I’ve never been able to save or get ahead.  I’ve always worked in well paid jobs for years but had no savings to speak of, or any assets such as a house or lovely furniture etc.  It took me taking a pay-cut (for a new job in 2006) and the ensuing death-spiral of debt to make me adopt the perspective that it doesn’t make sense to spend what I don’t have.

2. How will helping your clients change their perspective make a difference in their lives?

Reframing perspective forces one to open their minds to other possibilities.  This would make a dramatic difference in anyone’s life as it enables them to overcome conceived barriers to achieving what they hope for in life.

3. What would be possible if you were a master at reframing your own perspective?

Well…. anything!  That’s the inherent difference that reframing perspective can achieve.

4. What else might you need to obtain complete happiness and fulfillment?

Action.  Just imaging the possibilities won’t achieve anything without taking the actions towards the new possibilities that a reframed perspective opens up to me.  Feeling like nothing can stand in my way… well that is a pretty powerful formula for happiness and fulfillment.

(more…)

Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Jus

102 | Perspective & You

As an additional exercise in reframing perspective, I am calling out to you my readers to help me (to help you!).  All you have to do is either comment below, or email me with an answer to the following question:

Pick an area of your life where a problem has persisted for some time. Tell me about it in a few short paragraphs. Don’t try to be politically correct. Don’t hold back. Just tell me exactly what you think and feel about that situation.

Then I will come back to you and help you to discern your perspective, and then reframe it.

Ready?  GO!

Posted on June 30, 2009 - by Jus

101 | What Is Coaching

Kicking off with Foundation Coach, the first logical topic is defining what coaching actually is.  The reflection task on this topic asks me to respond to these questions.

1. If you have previously worked in a field that is related to coaching, which of the skills you applied in that field are applicable to coaching?  Which are not applicable to coaching?

I guess you could say that a lot of my career I have been in a ‘consultant’-style capacity, particularly recently.  The ‘consulting’ I have done is often external to the business, however it has sometimes been internal – working with colleagues towards a desired outcome in the workplace or the coaching approach I took with my team members in management positions.

The skills I have learned in my 13+ years in business that will be applicable to my career as a coach are probably;
a) As a strategist, my ability to reframe a client’s objectives from (most times) ‘empty objectives’ to ‘foundational objectives’ and to also identify the questions they have not yet asked themselves that could potentially create barriers to success.
b) As a manager, the coaching approach I have often tried to deploy in ’supporting staff to answer their own questions’ by challenging them to give me their answer, using their experience and knowledge, rather than just providing them with my answer.
c)  Again, as a strategist, my ability to see a clear pathway, in stages, from current state to desired end state.
d) After many years of working in a corporate environment, particularly in sales and marketing, I have much business knowledge that may assist me in being a business or corporate coach.

The skills that are probably not applicable to coaching are;
a) My ability to generate my recommended solution to a brief and deliver that to my client – this is a very ‘consultant’ way of doing things.
b) As a strategist, my role is often to ‘direct’ the thinking of the creatives.  Being overly prescriptive may go against the principles of coaching.

2. When might you refer a client to a therapist or psychologist for counselling rather than continuing with coaching?

If ever I was to get a sense that my client was not 100% emotionally healthy, I would recommend a client seek a therapist.  It’s likely that any emotional healing that needs to be done would stand in the way of them achieving what they set out to do by seeing a life coach, so it’s an important step in their journey, but not one that I am qualified to provide.

It’s probably worth noting that I would most likely refer my clients in this situation to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) as I have personally experienced this form of therapy and found it to be far more empowering and action-oriented than most forms of therapy (ie more in tune with Life Coaching).

3. How is coaching related to mentoring?  How is it different?

A mentor is someone with vast experience in a given topic/industry/skill set, and therefore usually older than the mentoree.  The relationship between mentor and mentoree is one of knowledge transference, passing on of wisdom and key learnings and insights from mentor to mentoree.  The mentoree probably ‘looks up to’ and seeks guidance from his/her mentor.

As a coach, my goal will be to develop a relationship where I walk side by side with my client, where my role is to help my client draw upon their own experience, knowledge and intuition in order to achieve better outcomes.

4.  How could a business consultant alter their business to become a business coach?  What are the key differences in the services they would provide?

Put simply, a business consultant would have to restructure their business from an ‘advice providing’ solutions approach (in a specific field or speciality) to a more holistic ‘facilitating’ solutions approach (in any field).  The services provided in the restructured ‘business coach’ model would be a side-by-side relationship where coach and client examine a business situation together, articulate the desired outcome(s), identify the barriers and devise a plan of action, for which the client takes responsibility for achieving.

5.  What is meant by the saying “all coaching is life coaching after the first three sessions”?  Do you agree with this statement?  Why?  Why Not?

I believe this statement is referring to the common experience of most coaches in the Business/Executive coaching area of expertise which sees a coach being appointed to facilitate the achievement of a specific, very rational and business-based objective which is explored and discussed in the first three sessions.  However after this time, key barriers to overcome in the action plan for achievement of this objective will no doubt include relationships, communication and family/work balance – three core elements of typical “life” coaching.

I do agree with this statement as coaching is a process of working with human beings, who are emotional, communicative and relationship-oriented creatures.  As a result, any coaching relationship with a client is bound to uncover other areas for improvement besides the specific subject the client originally came to the coach for.