Posts Tagged ‘Asset Based Thinking’

Posted on July 15, 2009 - by Jus

A Dog’s Purpose (from a 6 year old)

This was sent to me via email and I just couldn’t resist sharing it as it’s such a great example of the philosophy behind Jus Growing and Asset Based Thinking.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘I know why.’

Startled, we all turned to him.. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, ‘People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’ The Six-year-old continued, ‘Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.’

So live like a dog:
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass..
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you’re not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY day.

Posted on July 10, 2009 - by Jus

Be Curious With Conflict

The majority of people I know will do anything to avoid conflict.  Conflict really comes with a such a bad wrap, it’s got negativity and a distinct lack of compromise stitched into the fabric of its definition.  For the majority of the population, the word conflict equals bad.

So if Change The Way You See Everything is really going to stay true to its manifesto, it surely can see a way to making conflict equal good.  This part of the book is called Getting A Charge Out Of Conflict.

Opposition for opposition’s sake is what gives conflict its bad reputation.  I happen to not be one to shy away from conflict under most circumstances.  I am usually the one raising an issue to open the dialogue for discussion, or pointing out that something is NQR.  But this is where it gets tricky, because no matter how open-minded I try to remain when facing conflict, the outcome of the conflict is only as good as the Asset Based Thinking of the other person.

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Posted on July 9, 2009 - by Jus

Build Them Up…

… Don’t Beat Them Up.

It seems that one of the consistencies with Deficit Based Thinkers is the premise that no one else “gets it” quite like them, that the Deficit Based Thinker is usually ‘more right’ or ‘knows better’ than those around them.  It breeds an inherently condescending point of view.  For example, do any of these sound familiar….?

“Why didn’t you…”
“That won’t work!”
“Oh no, not again!”
“That’s impossible”
“They just don’t get it”
“How could you let this happen?”
“What’s wrong with you?”

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Posted on July 8, 2009 - by Jus

Turn Anxiety Into Anticipation

One of the biggest learnings I got from reading Change The Way You See Everything was that small shifts in my thinking can make seismic differences in my life.  Asset Based Thinking (ABT) is a choice, it’s not a personality trait that you’re born with.  So in making a conscious decision to focus on ABT behaviours and thought-patterns, over time I have the potential to make a dramatic difference to the way I view the world.

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Posted on July 1, 2009 - by Jus

102 | Perspective

The second ‘chapter’ in my course, from the Foundation Coach subject, is all about Perspective.  It starts out by saying that the concept of perspective is so powerful and fundamental, that I could coach from this alone, without using any of the other coaching tecniques taught in the course and still be a powerful coach.

It almost sounds too good to be true, but then it is our perspective that determines our experiences in life, not our circumstances… so if you keep that in mind then it becomes pretty clear why perspective, or the reframing of it, can be such a powerful tool in life.

Some discussion questions were posed in this topic, that I have answered in below.

1. When have you experienced a change in your perspective?  What did it take for you to change your point of view?

In 2002, I fell pregnant with my son who is now six years old.  At the time, I was 24 years old and certainly hadn’t planned nor expected this to happen.  It was this ‘life changing event’ that saw me change my view on the world, my role in life and my priorities.  That is obviously a very drastic example, so another would be my approach to money management.

I spent most of my 20s with the view that consumer debt was okay so long as I had the means to pay it off.  But I have since come to reframe this perspective and realise this to be one of the reasons I’ve never been able to save or get ahead.  I’ve always worked in well paid jobs for years but had no savings to speak of, or any assets such as a house or lovely furniture etc.  It took me taking a pay-cut (for a new job in 2006) and the ensuing death-spiral of debt to make me adopt the perspective that it doesn’t make sense to spend what I don’t have.

2. How will helping your clients change their perspective make a difference in their lives?

Reframing perspective forces one to open their minds to other possibilities.  This would make a dramatic difference in anyone’s life as it enables them to overcome conceived barriers to achieving what they hope for in life.

3. What would be possible if you were a master at reframing your own perspective?

Well…. anything!  That’s the inherent difference that reframing perspective can achieve.

4. What else might you need to obtain complete happiness and fulfillment?

Action.  Just imaging the possibilities won’t achieve anything without taking the actions towards the new possibilities that a reframed perspective opens up to me.  Feeling like nothing can stand in my way… well that is a pretty powerful formula for happiness and fulfillment.

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Posted on June 27, 2009 - by Jus

Change The Way You See Everything

Change The Way You See Everything is a book I read last year, even though it had caught my eye in Borders about a year earlier than this, I’d never gotten around to reading it.  It only took about 45 minutes to read and it is truly brilliant in it’s simplicity.  The notion of living your life as an Asset Based Thinker instead of a Deficit Based Thinker is really compelling, but certainly not ground breaking. 

Interestingly though, this is different from just straight “Positive Thinking” and also slightly removed from the whole law of attraction manifesto of The Secret.  Although I am sure the laws of attraction could coexist with Asset Based Thinking (ABT), the premise of how to instill ABT behaviours in your life are quite different from The Secret’s “teachings”.

I remember one of the key insights I had when I was first reading this book is that I found it pretty intriguing that my partner (now husband)considers himself a really positive person, someone that doesn’t let things in life get him down, an ‘optimist’.  Yet despite that fact, he is probably also a Deficit Based Thinker (DBT).  This book highlighted to me that it’s one thing to present yourself as a positive person, but unless you can back it up with ABT behaviours, then you are probably coming across to others as negative, critical and possibly even condescending.

I will explore more of the principles of ABT and the way I try to apply this thinking to my work, my relationships and my life in more posts to come.  Until then, I thoroughly recommend you purchase a copy for yourself!