Archive for the ‘Growing My Career’ Category

Posted on August 26, 2009 - by Jus

105 | Creating Action

I have too much action in my life right now.  I am looking at all the balls I am trying to keep in the air and trying to work out how to prioritise, create structures and coordinate all the actions that I have going on in my head so that I can systematically get through them and closer to my goals.  I feel like an action figure without all my limbs right now.

I am not really someone who needs to create action – I think sometimes I need to limit it.  I am working through how best to create some structures to help me do that, along with my coach who has been really helpful at helping me to uncover why I am “never satisfied’ and even when I complete a bunch of really great actions – I am still only focusing on what is left to do, not celebrating what I have achieved already.

Which brings me to tonight’s lesson – part two of Creating Action.

Reflecting on this has been interesting, because so much of what goes on in the world is about creating actions.  If I want my child to clean his room – the quick way to do that is to tell him to do it, effectively giving him no choice or context (the why) in order to illicit the action I desire from him.  Then at the other end of the scale, in my day job as a marketer, we spend the better part of the day discussing how to create the very best context possible – through experience and storytelling – to illicit an action from an audience… that could be anything from buying, subscribing, logging on, voting, advocating or any number of other ‘desirable’ engagements marketers and brands seek every day.

But even in that last example, there is no success in just creating the context, filling the audience to the brim with all the benefits to them, the promises of the outcomes they seek… without pointing them in the right direction – towards the action you hope they will take.

Whether it’s a ‘buy now’ button on a webpage, or a form to fill in to hear more from that brand, or a URL on a piece of merchandise that you can take away to look up later, or giving you the tools to share that experience with your friends… illiciting action needs to be somewhat directional.

So how do you find the balance as a coach – the theory of a coach is that the client comes up with their own actions, right?  Most people with a brain in their head can tell you the most logical, or shortest, or most effective way to get from A to B.  Logically outlining the actions to get from where you are now, to where you want to be should be relatively simple.

But we are humans.  And therefore complex.  The actions that are valuable to one person are not valuable to another.  Which is why I believe a coach’s role in creating action with their clients is to uncover the CONTEXT – the values of that person, their strengths (and their weaknesses) and what they may actually need to take away from their life in order to pave the way for these new actions and the big goal.

This made me think about my son and all the other parents with children who try every way they can think of to get their children to take the actions that are right for them… eat more vegetables, do their homework, play outside instead of watching TV….  Perhaps there is value in taking the time (and let’s face it, it takes time) to help that child to uncover their own context.  What kind of person do they want to be?  Fit and healthy?  Smart and capable?  Let them identify what values they hold for themselves, and identify their own strengths and weaknesses.  Then they are in a position to commit to the actions they need to take to be that person.  They want to be fit and healthy?  Then they commit to eating well and staying active – if one of those is a weakness they have identified, then maybe they will ask for their parent’s help to keep them on track… meaning they are welcoming the ‘reminders’ (aka nagging) as a support to help them be what they want to be.

Hmmmm.  Something I am going to try out on my son this weekend.  I am sure there is an age threshold for this theory, but I would be interested in seeing whether this is a method of motivating kids into action without use of bribery, rewards or oodles of positive reinforcement.

What do you think?

Posted on August 19, 2009 - by Jus

106 | Trial Sessions

A trial session is one of the ways coaches ease prospective clients into the concept of coaching, and they are also a way of determining whether there is a mutual fit between coach and client.  It’s my opinion that there is no set formula for a trial session, because every client is different and as a good coach, I should be able to take their cues and create the trial session that I think they need or want, not what I think they should need or want.  If that makes sense…

I was at the National Speaker’s Association meeting the other night and listened to a great speaker by the name of Keith Dugdale.  He talked about an structure – “I – We – You” – for building rapport with clients in the first 40 seconds.  The structure really hit home for me and it’s something I plan on using as a framework for my trial sessions.

What is it?

“I” – or setting up the purpose of the trial session from my point of view.
This is where I will explain in a quick sentence why we’re having this trial session.  I might say something like “…so would you agree that the purpose of us meeting today for this trial session is to see if coaching might be valuable for you right now, and whether I am the right coach for you?”

“We” – or establishing the process the two of us will embark on to achieve that purpose.
So this is where I might outline (loosely) what the client should expect from the next 45-60 minutes:
a) client sharing what brought them to me / to consider coaching
b) client sharing what they hope to achieve with their coaching
c) me answering any questions they may have about coaching, about me, about my coaching style
I may end this explanation with a question like “does that sound ok to you,” or “does that work for you?” and “is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

“You” – or establishing the value that the client hopes to walk away from the trial session with.
This is the beginning of the client starting to share why they are here with me in this trial session, perhaps commencing with me asking something like “…so, what would you like to walk away from this session with?”  And if the client finds this hard to articulate, I could offer suggestions to help them identify the value they want to receive in the session:
a) would you like to know by the end of the session if I’m the right coach for you?
b) would you like to walk away with the first step to take towards your goal?

If these three points are covered off in the first few minutes of the session, it should help me to read their cues and modify my coaching style, the session’s pace and be focused on the outcome the client has identified as their goal for the session.  Because if that outcome is achieved, then there is no need to “sell” the client with a bunch of “features and benefits” that I am simply telling them because I will have shown/demonstrated them instead.

REFLECTION & APPLICATION FROM THIS MODULE

I quite like the reflection exercise in this module, it challenges me to write ten probing questions I could use to uncover my client’s goal or dream in such a way that it generates excitement and inspiration in them…. so here goes:

1. What is one thing you would love to change about your life?

2. What is one things you would you like more of in your life?

3. What kind of person do you hope your child will become?

4. What kind of parent do you want to be to support your child in that?

5. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your child, what would it be?

6. What do you think it will feel like when you’ve finished with coaching and achieved this goal?

7. Which of those goals do you think is the most important to you right now?

8. In the next three months, what would you love to have / achieve / see or feel?

9. What’s missing in your life?

10. What do you think a coach can provide you with that you haven’t had in the past?

And, it also asks to list five major objections or concerns that the client may express with regards to setting up ongoing coaching with me… and to create an honest response which with enthuse the prospective client….  I actually have no idea what objections to anticipate.  Can anyone help me here and I will do my best to frame what I believe my responses would be?

Posted on August 13, 2009 - by Jus

Commitment to Milestones

The lack of posting on my blog is usually a sign that I am juggling many areas of my life, over-commiting myself and attempting to achieve a number of things all at the same time.

This past couple of weeks is no different.  Since starting with my peer coach, I have felt hyper charged in the bid to launch my business, even if only as a ’soft launch’ and start to gather the momentum and experience I know I will need in order to be in a position to quit my day job in June 2010.

That’s “the goal” if you like and it’s a biggun.  For many years I have talked (a lot) about getting out of the industry I have spent over a decade with and working for myself in a business that satiated my emotional needs as well as my financial and intellectual needs… it’s always been fear that has held me back and I am determined not to let fear stand in my way any longer.

You know how some people kind of live by the seat of their pants?  Live each day as it comes and rarely let more than the next 24 hours occupy their minds?  Well… that’s definitely not me.  I am a planner.  I goal setter.  A future-focused over-thinker.  By the time I get to a situation, I have generally considered almost every possible problem or issue that could arise and have made moves to anticipate these.  It comes from being a strategic personality I guess… or maybe that is euphemism for control freak…!

So in planning for the big goal of June 2010… I have started to set some key milestones.  At the same time, I have just finished the class on Goal Setting and although I didn’t necessarily learn anything new about the way I set goals, I did learn a bit about how much I often stress myself out by scoping out every last detail of what I need to do to reach that goal and giving them timeframes… which in turn overwhelms me and panders to the perfectionist in me…. which ultimately holds me back because I then get stuck in the frame of thinking “how could I possibly launch that, do that, tick off that milestone… unless I finish all the steps first?”

Sometimes it would do me well not to plan so much.  To just set a date and commit to the milestone being finished by that date and then using whatever resources I have available to achieving it.  Not disimilar to the way I have always managed people in my teams over the course of my career… when delegating, I set the task in the form of a ‘desired outcome’ and be clear about the expectations with respect to quality, boundaries and the deadline.  Then I set that person off to achieve that outcome in whatever way they feel is best.  If I was to prescibe the path or means by which they achieved the outcome, they would simply become ‘order takers’ and not show any initative of their own.

So why do I find it so difficult to use this theory with my own milestones?  Define the outcome, establish acceptable expectations for quality, boundaries and the deadline and then let myself get there in whatever way feels right as I go through the process…. rather than meticulously planning that process and freaking myself out with how many steps are involved!

To that end, this is me, setting milestones in the form of outcomes.  And I plan on holding myself to these, so stay tuned for updates!

Milestone 1
Outcome : my brand is established/launched and I can begin to market myself.
Expectations : Includes launching my business’ website with even the most basic of content (minimum 1on1 coaching and 1 workshop service) having business cards printed and newsletter subscription service, so that I have the foundation from which to build and grow between now and June 2010.
Deadline : August 23rd, 2009

Milestone 2
Outcome : facilitating workshop confidence.
Expectations : doesn’t matter what format the first workshop is in (live or teleclass) so long as it’s conducted and feedback is recorded for future learning.  Doesn’t matter if the attendees are paying or not.
Deadline : September 10th, 2009

Milestone 3
Outcome : one on one coaching confidence.
Expectations : involves at least one ICA peer coaching client and at least one non-ICA peer coaching client for a minimum of 12 sessions per client, with feedback sought and received.
Deadline : November 8th, 2009

Posted on August 3, 2009 - by Jus

The Coaching Process

Tonight I will be taking Part 2 of the Coaching Process classes and last week we were asked to reflect on what our own coaching process might look like from the client’s point-of-view.

I have to admit, I really loved doing this as it brought all of my strategic and ‘experiential design’ experience to the table and allowed me to apply it to my new business venture.  It took me no time at all and I am really really happy with the outcome.  It will be interesting to share in tonight’s class and hear other’s feedback…  I debated whether to post it here in the public forum, but decided against it as I think I should keep some things as my own intellectual property.

In short though, I have constructed a process that looks at:

a) The emotional journey of the client – from base state of ‘curious, hopeful, skeptical’ through to the end state of ‘breakthrough, elation, achievement, success’ that takes into account the natural ebbs and flows as the client faces setbacks, doubts, challenging perspectives and underlying automatic commitments.

b) Then it profiles the Coaching Process from the perspective of the Client, outlining what they can expect to be supported with across the course of their journey, and

c) The Coaching Process from the perspective of the Coach, including the tools that may be most beneficial at each stage of the journey for the Client. 

b) and c) naturally intersect but this helps me to define the way in which to communicate the process to the client without confusing them with “coach terminology”.

I am really looking forward to using this to assist me to develop my Coaching Model (for assessment purposes as well as for the success of my coaching business) and to guide the copywriting for my Welcome Pack for new clients.

Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus

Totally Inspired

As part of my course, I get to be a coaching client for another student (and a little further down the track, I get to also coach other students to practice and ‘learn on the job’)… it’s called Peer Coaching.

This week I set up a few ‘trial sessions’ with some of the students that had expressed an interest in being my peer coach and they were all really great.  However, tonight’s was really amazing.  Funny thing is, I think I knew in advance of even speaking to her that I would love working with her, the universe has a funny way of sending the right people into my life at just the right times and when I first got her email and looked through her website, I think I sorta just *knew*.

So my new peer coach that I will be working with over the coming 12 weeks is Lauren Fritsch and I am totally inspired by the prospect of working with such a talented, vibrant, articulate and personable coach.

Very grateful to the universe for sending Lauren my way.

Posted on July 27, 2009 - by Jus

108 | Idenitfying My Niche

I think I might have had a very exciting breakthrough over the weekend…

One of the key milestones in being able to get my plans to build my coaching business going is finding and defining my niche – that is to say, which particular group of people for whom I will tailor my coaching business, products and services.

I have been slightly uncomfortable with my obvious choice of niche – small business owners, professionals, managers and entrepreneurs – mainly because I feel like it wouldn’t be enough of a departure from my current profession to keep me challenged, motivated and learning.

Over the weekend, it dawned on me what my ‘calling’ would be in terms of a niche for my coaching business… what I am deeply passionate about, what I am intrigued and interested by, what will continually challenge me to think differently…

I’m going to work with parents and families with children.  *grins*

I was a single parent from the moment my darling son was born and as I only got married just before his sixth birthday, I certainly had my fair share of experiences in parenting in difficult situations.  I think every parent learns an awful lot from their children, some more than others, and many parents reach out to peers and professionals for guidance in how to be the best parent they can possibly be.

It’s these people that I want to work with – to help them to define their goals as parents and put in place the action plans, structures and knowledge they need to achieve these goals.

I already know what my first steps in building this will be and I am so looking forward to developing my business over the coming three months with the assistance of my chosen peer coach to keep me on track!  So three cheers for finding my niche!!

Posted on July 21, 2009 - by Jus

104 | Goal Setting

I thought my class about Goal Setting was going to be pretty straight forward, probably because I’ve never really found that I have any problems in setting goals for myself, or my determination to achieve them.  However it was a really great class, mostly due to my new favourite ICA Trainer – Michael Moniz.  This guy has such an incredible energy and such a brilliant way about him, he brings a lightness to his Life Coaching when it can be so very easy to get all heavy when it comes to exploring issues of goal setting or barriers to achieving these goals.

So why was my goal setting class so great?  Well I learned a few things… specifically:

a) how to work with someone whose goal is to work out their goals…!
b) how to spot an overachiever, a goal-setting master who may not be as masterful at moving into action towards those goals… and how to have that conversation with them.
c) how to work with someone that is incredibly lost and apathetic about everything
d) how to help a client create goals that are aligned to their personal values, and how this inspires and motivates them more.

One of the things I loved about Michael was the way he explained his method of deflecting that loaded question “what do you think I should do?” or “what would you do in this situation?”… because a life coach’s role is not to offer advice, or even situational guidance or their personal opinion, a great life coach will help the client to arrive at their own conclusion.

We’ve all grown up with the SMART rule of setting goals, but recently I undertook an exercise as part of a magazine I read regularly called Empower.  In their goal setting tool, they explore this method of goal setting:

spEcific	Write specifically what it is you want to achieve by a specific date.
Meaningful	How will you feel once you have achieved your goal? Make it powerful.
insPiring	Why do you want this goal? What is the motivating factor that will help you get what you want?
pOsitive	Write your goal in terms of what you DO want instead of what you DON’T want.
oWn it!	Your goal needs to be about you, not about changing someone else.
prEsent	Write your goal as if you have already achieved it (eg. ‘I weigh 64kg’ instead of, ‘I will weigh 64kg’).
Realistic	Ensure your goal is realistic in the timeframe chosen.

I found this to be really helpful (in addition to SMART of course) because what it builds for you is a goal that might look something like this:

It is the 31st of October 2009 and I feel so proud.  I am vegetarian and attending the gym twice a week.  I am seeing at least one friend socially once per week.  I have completed a quarter of my life coaching course. I feel inspired and healthy.  Because when I am happier in myself, I am happier in my relationship.

Isn’t that powerful?  And empowering!!

So for my Goal Setting reflection exercise, here are my answers:

Think about a goal that you have set for yourself in the past.  Did you achieve your goal or not?

I have set so many goals in my time, this is hard to answer.  Usually when I set my mind to something, I achieve it – it’s all in the commitment vs trying thing – if I am commited, I absolutely achieve it 100% of the time.   My 101 List is an example of my willingness to set goals and perserverence to achieve them.

In light of the points we looked at in the course, why do you think you had this outcome?

The process I have of setting goals for myself, identifying what needs to be done to achieve it, monitoring any obstacles that may present themselves and celebrating my achievements is fairly innate in my character – but seeing them all written down as a structured “goal setting and achieving” process made me realise that this is also exactly why I have had so many successes in my life and, as my mother would say, always landed on my feet.

How can you keep your goals foremost in the front of your mind?

For me it is all about writing them down and diarising tasks or appointments as stepping stones to help me achieve them.  Simple as that!

Posted on July 20, 2009 - by Jus

107 | Power Listening

You’ve heard of active listening, well my course goes one step further.  As a coach, an even more refined skill level in listening is required : Power Listening.  It’s got all the elements of active listening – listening attentively, paraphrasing to acknowledge you’ve heard, checking perceptions to demonstrate that feelings are also being heard – and adding a few extra powerful elements.

Waiting – the act of waiting approximately 10 seconds before replying to what has just been said allows the other person the space to finish their thoughts and feelings.

Asking for more – asking careful questions to ensure the other person has completely explored their thoughts and feelings.

Responding rather than consoling – listening as a coach is about listening objectively and responding in a consoling manner can actually hinder the client in expressing their thoughts and feelings in full.  So instead, the focus is on small acknowledgements that they are being heard to encourage more sharing.

Being empathetic and non-judgemental – the ground rule is “it is not your job to point out to someone what you think he or she may be missing.”  Judgements can impair listening.

Moving to action – because power listening isn’t about just letting someone rant and vent, it’s about helping them to understanding how these thoughts and feelings can help them to move forward.

Using intuition – listening from the heart and using more than just your ears to listen… now that is power listening!

So my reflection questions from this class were…

What are five things that a coach needs to listen for with a client?

Listening to a) what they are saying, b) what they are feeling (emotions), c) what their perceptions are, d) for the link or applications to their current goals and e) for what is not said but is just as important!

Which of the listening strategies in this unit do you actively apply and which would you like more practice with?

I definitely need more work on the WAIT (Why Am I Talking?) principle, particularly in my relationship with my husband!  I also need more practice with listening without judgement.

I do think I can actively listen when I apply myself and I try not to interrupt and ask questions to help the person explore what they are thinking and feeling further.

What is the difference between ‘rambling and venting’ and genuinely unpacking an issue?

I think that when a person is rambling or venting, they are ‘releasing steam’ as opposed to being really mindful and considering everything they are saying.  To be mindful means that the person talking is learning from their own words as much as the listener is as talking things through can often lead the client to devise their own conclusions or solutions.