Author Archive

Posted on September 1, 2009 - by Jus

Talking About Yourself

One of the first things I did with my coach was to create my “elevator speech” for my business.  It was a really great exercise to do, and I loved the way she had a structure to guide me through that process.

I am learning more and more as each day goes on that to be successful in my coaching practice, I am going to need to sell a result, not the coaching itself.  And furthermore, that if I can make that quicker, easier or automated by creating a structure, or a process, or an outline of some easily learned and transferrable skills, then I will enable myself to sell that result in a number of different formats, not just one-to-one coaching.

Which is why I was intrigued to listen to this radio interview with Matt Church recently as it gave me two things:

a) I should not limit myself in the way I talk about my new family and parent coaching business, particularly as it is my passion.

b) I should probably create two potential niches for myself in coaching/business, as I will be able to instantly capitalise on my years of business, marketing and advertising know-how in order to get some quick wins (and quick wins means getting out of the corporate world faster).

What am I talking about?  Well Matt Church has a number of frameworks and matrix that he sells and shares with thought leaders to help them to become more successful.  One of them is about how to position youself and it’s a matrix with nine options.

Nine?  I hear you say.  Yes, well because let’s face it, if the only time you ever talked about your business was in an elevator, we’d certainly all be spending a lot more time in elevators!  Fact is, there are so many places and situations that I will find myself in where I will want to talk about my business – and not all of those situations will be created equal.

There will be opportunities to give a very ‘low-energy’ response as well as others when I can afford to give a much higher level of energy to my explanation.

But let me allow you to download the radio interview that explains it all much better than I can.  Enjoy!  (Right click and select “Save As”)

Matt Church Positioning Matrix

Posted on August 26, 2009 - by Jus

105 | Creating Action

I have too much action in my life right now.  I am looking at all the balls I am trying to keep in the air and trying to work out how to prioritise, create structures and coordinate all the actions that I have going on in my head so that I can systematically get through them and closer to my goals.  I feel like an action figure without all my limbs right now.

I am not really someone who needs to create action – I think sometimes I need to limit it.  I am working through how best to create some structures to help me do that, along with my coach who has been really helpful at helping me to uncover why I am “never satisfied’ and even when I complete a bunch of really great actions – I am still only focusing on what is left to do, not celebrating what I have achieved already.

Which brings me to tonight’s lesson – part two of Creating Action.

Reflecting on this has been interesting, because so much of what goes on in the world is about creating actions.  If I want my child to clean his room – the quick way to do that is to tell him to do it, effectively giving him no choice or context (the why) in order to illicit the action I desire from him.  Then at the other end of the scale, in my day job as a marketer, we spend the better part of the day discussing how to create the very best context possible – through experience and storytelling – to illicit an action from an audience… that could be anything from buying, subscribing, logging on, voting, advocating or any number of other ‘desirable’ engagements marketers and brands seek every day.

But even in that last example, there is no success in just creating the context, filling the audience to the brim with all the benefits to them, the promises of the outcomes they seek… without pointing them in the right direction – towards the action you hope they will take.

Whether it’s a ‘buy now’ button on a webpage, or a form to fill in to hear more from that brand, or a URL on a piece of merchandise that you can take away to look up later, or giving you the tools to share that experience with your friends… illiciting action needs to be somewhat directional.

So how do you find the balance as a coach – the theory of a coach is that the client comes up with their own actions, right?  Most people with a brain in their head can tell you the most logical, or shortest, or most effective way to get from A to B.  Logically outlining the actions to get from where you are now, to where you want to be should be relatively simple.

But we are humans.  And therefore complex.  The actions that are valuable to one person are not valuable to another.  Which is why I believe a coach’s role in creating action with their clients is to uncover the CONTEXT – the values of that person, their strengths (and their weaknesses) and what they may actually need to take away from their life in order to pave the way for these new actions and the big goal.

This made me think about my son and all the other parents with children who try every way they can think of to get their children to take the actions that are right for them… eat more vegetables, do their homework, play outside instead of watching TV….  Perhaps there is value in taking the time (and let’s face it, it takes time) to help that child to uncover their own context.  What kind of person do they want to be?  Fit and healthy?  Smart and capable?  Let them identify what values they hold for themselves, and identify their own strengths and weaknesses.  Then they are in a position to commit to the actions they need to take to be that person.  They want to be fit and healthy?  Then they commit to eating well and staying active – if one of those is a weakness they have identified, then maybe they will ask for their parent’s help to keep them on track… meaning they are welcoming the ‘reminders’ (aka nagging) as a support to help them be what they want to be.

Hmmmm.  Something I am going to try out on my son this weekend.  I am sure there is an age threshold for this theory, but I would be interested in seeing whether this is a method of motivating kids into action without use of bribery, rewards or oodles of positive reinforcement.

What do you think?

Posted on August 19, 2009 - by Jus

106 | Trial Sessions

A trial session is one of the ways coaches ease prospective clients into the concept of coaching, and they are also a way of determining whether there is a mutual fit between coach and client.  It’s my opinion that there is no set formula for a trial session, because every client is different and as a good coach, I should be able to take their cues and create the trial session that I think they need or want, not what I think they should need or want.  If that makes sense…

I was at the National Speaker’s Association meeting the other night and listened to a great speaker by the name of Keith Dugdale.  He talked about an structure – “I – We – You” – for building rapport with clients in the first 40 seconds.  The structure really hit home for me and it’s something I plan on using as a framework for my trial sessions.

What is it?

“I” – or setting up the purpose of the trial session from my point of view.
This is where I will explain in a quick sentence why we’re having this trial session.  I might say something like “…so would you agree that the purpose of us meeting today for this trial session is to see if coaching might be valuable for you right now, and whether I am the right coach for you?”

“We” – or establishing the process the two of us will embark on to achieve that purpose.
So this is where I might outline (loosely) what the client should expect from the next 45-60 minutes:
a) client sharing what brought them to me / to consider coaching
b) client sharing what they hope to achieve with their coaching
c) me answering any questions they may have about coaching, about me, about my coaching style
I may end this explanation with a question like “does that sound ok to you,” or “does that work for you?” and “is there anything else you’d like to discuss?”

“You” – or establishing the value that the client hopes to walk away from the trial session with.
This is the beginning of the client starting to share why they are here with me in this trial session, perhaps commencing with me asking something like “…so, what would you like to walk away from this session with?”  And if the client finds this hard to articulate, I could offer suggestions to help them identify the value they want to receive in the session:
a) would you like to know by the end of the session if I’m the right coach for you?
b) would you like to walk away with the first step to take towards your goal?

If these three points are covered off in the first few minutes of the session, it should help me to read their cues and modify my coaching style, the session’s pace and be focused on the outcome the client has identified as their goal for the session.  Because if that outcome is achieved, then there is no need to “sell” the client with a bunch of “features and benefits” that I am simply telling them because I will have shown/demonstrated them instead.

REFLECTION & APPLICATION FROM THIS MODULE

I quite like the reflection exercise in this module, it challenges me to write ten probing questions I could use to uncover my client’s goal or dream in such a way that it generates excitement and inspiration in them…. so here goes:

1. What is one thing you would love to change about your life?

2. What is one things you would you like more of in your life?

3. What kind of person do you hope your child will become?

4. What kind of parent do you want to be to support your child in that?

5. If you could change one thing about your relationship with your child, what would it be?

6. What do you think it will feel like when you’ve finished with coaching and achieved this goal?

7. Which of those goals do you think is the most important to you right now?

8. In the next three months, what would you love to have / achieve / see or feel?

9. What’s missing in your life?

10. What do you think a coach can provide you with that you haven’t had in the past?

And, it also asks to list five major objections or concerns that the client may express with regards to setting up ongoing coaching with me… and to create an honest response which with enthuse the prospective client….  I actually have no idea what objections to anticipate.  Can anyone help me here and I will do my best to frame what I believe my responses would be?

Posted on August 18, 2009 - by Jus

Disappointment

Today, I was delivered a piece of news that left me feeling exceptionally disappointed in myself.

In my ‘day job’ (the one that I do when I’m not studying to be a coach) I was applauded at the beginning of the year for securing work with a very large corporate brand for my company.  Today, that same client decided not to proceed with my company as the supplier on a job that we are half way through doing, because of actions and words from me that damaged the working relationship.

I am disappointed in myself that I can barely speak.  I am running through what happened in my head over and over again and in hindsight (which is always 20-20), I cannot believe I was so stupid as to have approached the situation in the way that I did.

I am not the type to take things personally when they are in fact not so… this is absolutely a problem that I created though, and I am responsible for it.  I actually think I may still be in shock – this has never happened to me in my career and I am trying to work out what I am to learn from this and how I can change so that I may never feel this sense of bitter disappointment in myself again.

At this point, I am not sure how this situation will change my thinking – but I knew that I needed to just write it out so that I can go into my coaching session with my peer coach tonight with some of the feelings I am having right now out, on paper, out of my head.

Posted on August 14, 2009 - by Jus

Confidently Me

In a moment, I have part two of one of the most inspiring topics to date in my course.  It’s centered on the issue of “confidence” as a coach and how crucial this is in being the very best coach one can be, and the impact confidence not only has on the coaching client, but on the coach’s business.

In writing my biography this week for my website, I started to really doubt myself and my ability to be ‘taken seriously’ by potential clients given what I perceived to be large holes in my experience or credentials.  I found writing my biography really difficult, because the experience I have when it comes to parenting and children is not from formal training, it is from blood, sweat and tears… from doing it all on my own as a single parent for the past 6 years.  Does that give me the right to work with parents in the capacity as a coach? ……

The confidence class cleared that right up for me.  The very best thing that I can be for my clients is ME.  The most confident and self-assured version of me.  Because I do not plan on being all things to all people (or all parents, for that matter) but if I can stay authentic to myself and my passion, I will naturally attract people that can see the value in that.

She even made mention of a coach she knows who only coaches in the nude.  With face to face clients too, not just on the phone!  This is a man who is authentically himself and commited to his own unique style and he attracts clients that love that.

To help me to cement that, Angela Bird set us the task of describing how I can add value to people’s lives with my coaching business…. and by that she means the service my coaching business provides, not “me” per se.  And to make that even more specific… what are four things that are uniquely me and ’special’ about my service?

So here is where I am at with that very helpful challenge:

My coaching business adds value to my clients’ lives by:

• building confidence in their own parenting ability and style
• equipping them with positive family structures to assist them to be the parent they have always wanted to be
• providing them with the tools to achieve life/work/family balance and make room for themselves as a priority
• enabling access to on-going parenting skill and perception development so they can remain proactive in their parenting

Four things that are uniquely me and ’special’ about this?

ONE | The program is founded on the belief that every parent intuitively has the answers to their own value-based approach to parenting.  I will not be telling clients ‘what to do’, but helping them to build confidence in their own parenting intuition.

TWO | The program doesn’t rely on just me as a coach, it also provides way and means to connect with likeminded parents through workshops, teleseminars and group coaching.

THREE | My passion is to empower parents with a coach-approach to their lives and their families, that doesn’t necessarily require a early-childhood degree, or credentials as a ‘child expert’ – I just need to be the best coach I can be!

FOUR | The program taps into some of the best and most reputable knowledge of “parenting experts” as a platform from which my clients can build their skills and confidence as an intuitive parent.  They get all that wrapped in the package of a passionate coach who is there to support, empower and inspire them to be their greatest version of themselves!!

Posted on August 13, 2009 - by Jus

Commitment to Milestones

The lack of posting on my blog is usually a sign that I am juggling many areas of my life, over-commiting myself and attempting to achieve a number of things all at the same time.

This past couple of weeks is no different.  Since starting with my peer coach, I have felt hyper charged in the bid to launch my business, even if only as a ’soft launch’ and start to gather the momentum and experience I know I will need in order to be in a position to quit my day job in June 2010.

That’s “the goal” if you like and it’s a biggun.  For many years I have talked (a lot) about getting out of the industry I have spent over a decade with and working for myself in a business that satiated my emotional needs as well as my financial and intellectual needs… it’s always been fear that has held me back and I am determined not to let fear stand in my way any longer.

You know how some people kind of live by the seat of their pants?  Live each day as it comes and rarely let more than the next 24 hours occupy their minds?  Well… that’s definitely not me.  I am a planner.  I goal setter.  A future-focused over-thinker.  By the time I get to a situation, I have generally considered almost every possible problem or issue that could arise and have made moves to anticipate these.  It comes from being a strategic personality I guess… or maybe that is euphemism for control freak…!

So in planning for the big goal of June 2010… I have started to set some key milestones.  At the same time, I have just finished the class on Goal Setting and although I didn’t necessarily learn anything new about the way I set goals, I did learn a bit about how much I often stress myself out by scoping out every last detail of what I need to do to reach that goal and giving them timeframes… which in turn overwhelms me and panders to the perfectionist in me…. which ultimately holds me back because I then get stuck in the frame of thinking “how could I possibly launch that, do that, tick off that milestone… unless I finish all the steps first?”

Sometimes it would do me well not to plan so much.  To just set a date and commit to the milestone being finished by that date and then using whatever resources I have available to achieving it.  Not disimilar to the way I have always managed people in my teams over the course of my career… when delegating, I set the task in the form of a ‘desired outcome’ and be clear about the expectations with respect to quality, boundaries and the deadline.  Then I set that person off to achieve that outcome in whatever way they feel is best.  If I was to prescibe the path or means by which they achieved the outcome, they would simply become ‘order takers’ and not show any initative of their own.

So why do I find it so difficult to use this theory with my own milestones?  Define the outcome, establish acceptable expectations for quality, boundaries and the deadline and then let myself get there in whatever way feels right as I go through the process…. rather than meticulously planning that process and freaking myself out with how many steps are involved!

To that end, this is me, setting milestones in the form of outcomes.  And I plan on holding myself to these, so stay tuned for updates!

Milestone 1
Outcome : my brand is established/launched and I can begin to market myself.
Expectations : Includes launching my business’ website with even the most basic of content (minimum 1on1 coaching and 1 workshop service) having business cards printed and newsletter subscription service, so that I have the foundation from which to build and grow between now and June 2010.
Deadline : August 23rd, 2009

Milestone 2
Outcome : facilitating workshop confidence.
Expectations : doesn’t matter what format the first workshop is in (live or teleclass) so long as it’s conducted and feedback is recorded for future learning.  Doesn’t matter if the attendees are paying or not.
Deadline : September 10th, 2009

Milestone 3
Outcome : one on one coaching confidence.
Expectations : involves at least one ICA peer coaching client and at least one non-ICA peer coaching client for a minimum of 12 sessions per client, with feedback sought and received.
Deadline : November 8th, 2009

Posted on August 8, 2009 - by Jus

5 Activities To Stay Truly Present With My Son

This week I commited to myself that I would take more ‘time out’ from the steamtrain of my day job and my business planning to spend quality time with my six year old son.  By quality time, I mean being truly present with him and doing something that I know he enjoys.  When life gets busy it’s very easy to fall into the trap of just ‘being together’ – going to the supermarket together, running my errands together, or just spending time in the same room doing separate activities.  I am blessed with a very patient child, who doesn’t often act out in order to get attention, which can make it easier to let this trap continue on for longer than it should.

As part of my commitment to stay more truly present with my son this week, we sat down last night and brainstormed what he might like to do with me each day.  He wrote these activities on our family calendar for the coming week and I committed to him that we would do these each day after school with him.

BOARDGAMES
One of the things I have enjoyed about my son growing out of his toddler and pre-school years is that we can now play a number of boardgames together, which we both really enjoy.  We really like Scavenger Hunt, Uno, Guess Who, and chess or checkers.

WALKING THE DOG
Our dog is a Kelpie x Collie and needs a great deal of exercise, so two walks per day is not unusual.  The beauty of taking my son with me on this walk is that he and I really get an opportunity to talk and discuss what might be going on in his mind.  This is the time when I find I can be most present with my ‘coach approach’ to parenting.

SPENDING TIME IN BORDERS
We love book stores.  Especially those that allow to spend as much time as you like in them, reading and perusing to your hearts content without being asked “are you going to buy that?”.  However, it is very easy for us to split up when we get to Borders, I head for my sections (cooking, self help and business) and my son goes up to the kids area.  This week though, we are going together and only going to the kids area.  We’re going to read together, explore together and buy something for my son to enjoy once we leave.

A MUM & SON DATE
My son loves nothing more in the world than food.  He also really enjoys it when we go out to a cafe or restaurant together, just the two of us, and share some laughter and discussion over a meal and dessert (of course).  Pancake Parlour is a favourite of his and is very kid friendly.

ARTS & CRAFTS
We have a big box at home which is full of papers, glitter, pens, pencils, glue, coloured feathers and matchsticks, felt pieces, buttons, paints and much much more.  We roll out the butchers paper and pull on a painting smock and get to work.  It’s great fun and easy to convince him to jump into the bath afterwards!

What will you do this week to stay truly present with your loved one this week?  I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments section below.

Posted on August 5, 2009 - by Jus

Six Steps to a GREAT Trial Session

Last week I had a completely inspiring trial session with my new peer coach.  Ruba very politely asked if I could articulate why it was so great and I think that’s a great thing to reflect on in a post… Every new coach would love to be able to nail their trial sessions and turn the coachee that enjoyed their trial session into a paying client, so here is a list of six things that Lauren did (or didn’t do) that won me over…

1. | Pre-Qualification
When Lauren approached me for the trial session, she offered me her two websites to view.  These gave me a really good insight into her as a person and as a coach.  Captivating Life told me that she was a compassionate woman, with a worthy cause.  While her other site told me that she was a woman with sophistication in her approach to business.  I also really loved the fact that she included a profile picture of herself on her sites, which to me expressed an element of approachability and allowed me to visualise her while I was on the phone with her for our trial session.

2. | Efficiency in Appointment Setup
Making a time for our trial session was done within moments, even though we are in completely different timezones.  I had just come off the back of a stream of emails attempting to set a time for a trial session with another peer coach that ended up being placed in the “too hard” basket, so in contrast, this ease of doing business with Lauren was welcomed and noted.

3. | Getting to Know You
At the commencement of the call, Lauren took the time to get to know me a little by asking a few basic questions about Australia and Melbourne, and allowed me to ask her a couple of similarly basic questions which really helped to break the ice and create some rapport between us.  From this 5 minute dialogue to begin with, I established that we shared a similar kind of energy in our voices when we talked, laughed at a couple of the same things and ‘connected’ in a way that felt like a peer to peer relationship, which took some of the formality out of it without losing any professionalism (which for me, can make me feel uncomfortable).

4. | Power Listening
There should be no surprise here for ICA students, but this is a crucial element!  Once we got stuck into it, Lauren asked me what my goals were for the coming year and then opened the floor for me to just talk.  I had just that week discovered a few things about my niche and made some decisions about the business I hope to build over the next year, but I had not discussed it with anyone yet.  Lauren had made me feel so comfortable in that first 5 minutes of rapport building that I literally spilled over with telling her everything that had been going on in my brain that week and what that meant for my short, medium and long term goals for my business.  She made all the right noises as I unloaded my brain into the phone and when I finally paused for breath, she took a few seconds (pause) and then reconfirmed everything she had heard from me in a few short, sharp and succinct sentences.  She then asked some very poignant questions – “how would you describe the target audience for that”, “what kind of person do you want to attract to this business”, “what kind of person don’t you want to attract”, always allowing me ample time to consider my response and always summarising and clarifying what I was saying as I continued to talk.

5. | Down to Business
I am not sure if this is standard practice for Lauren in her trial sessions, or whether she sensed in me that I was an action-oriented person who is always more motivated when I am getting “stuck into the task at hand” rather than just talking about it… if it’s the latter, then even more kudos to her because she read me very well!  The point being that it wasn’t long into the call that Lauren suggested that we spend 15 minutes identifying my ‘elevator pitch’ to help cement some of what I had been saying into a really concise framework of explanation.  She took me straight into action - asking me three ‘formula’ questions for me that allowed her to help me to come up with this elevator pitch… it was so simple and effective that I really could not believe that after such a short period of time, she had helped me to clearly express the goals/purpose of my business idea.  I literally walked away from my trial session with tangible value that I didn’t have before I started the call.

6. | Immediate Follow Up
Interestingly, my trial session was actually interrupted by technical difficulties (thanks Skype), so again I am not sure if this is Lauren’s standard practice or whether it was a function of us not being able to complete our call… but I immediately received an email from Lauren after our session with the notes/options to allow me to construct the elevator pitch of my choice, a direct request to be afforded the opportunity to continue working with me in building my business and three things to think about between now and our next session (again, driving that action that motivates me so much!)

I’m looking forward to my next session and will be sure to keep adding to the list of reflections and learnings…