Archive for August 18th, 2009

Posted on August 18, 2009 - by Jus

Disappointment

Today, I was delivered a piece of news that left me feeling exceptionally disappointed in myself.

In my ‘day job’ (the one that I do when I’m not studying to be a coach) I was applauded at the beginning of the year for securing work with a very large corporate brand for my company.  Today, that same client decided not to proceed with my company as the supplier on a job that we are half way through doing, because of actions and words from me that damaged the working relationship.

I am disappointed in myself that I can barely speak.  I am running through what happened in my head over and over again and in hindsight (which is always 20-20), I cannot believe I was so stupid as to have approached the situation in the way that I did.

I am not the type to take things personally when they are in fact not so… this is absolutely a problem that I created though, and I am responsible for it.  I actually think I may still be in shock – this has never happened to me in my career and I am trying to work out what I am to learn from this and how I can change so that I may never feel this sense of bitter disappointment in myself again.

At this point, I am not sure how this situation will change my thinking – but I knew that I needed to just write it out so that I can go into my coaching session with my peer coach tonight with some of the feelings I am having right now out, on paper, out of my head.