Posted on July 30, 2009 - by Jus
Wow, so much reflection, so little time…
This week I managed to squeeze six classes and two trial coaching sessions (where I was the client) in to my normal work/family/life… *phew*. It took a lot of juggling, but it’s part of my goal to ’break the back’ of my coaching study, which will not only help me to stay motivated, but will get me a little bit closer to feeling comfortable enough to start to try to coach people…
But with that level of activity comes a whole lotta reflection. I feel like my mind has expanded two-fold this week alone… let me recap with:
THE TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY THINKING THIS WEEK
ONE | during a class, another student made a comment that was completely changed my perspective on how to ask for, and give effective feedback… she said that she asks her clients “What do you want more of from me? What do you want less of from me?“ It’s so simple and yet so powerful to frame feedback in this way, rather than from a place of judgement such as what is ‘good’ or ‘bad’. I am going to use this feedback tactic in so many areas of my life.
TWO | someone, somewhere, somehow made the declaration that for a human to feel empty is a bad thing. If someone said to you “I’m feeling empty, talk to me” how would you respond? Would you try to fill them up with positive feedback and reasons not to feel empty? Or would you recognise that perhaps that person had just made room for something new in themselves and you had an amazing opportunity to talk about yourself with that person without fear of judgement? That, I guess, is a roundabout way of explaining that as a coach (or a friend, or wife, or mother, or colleague for that matter!) to master power listening I must approach a client with a sense of emptiness in myself. Clear myself of thoughts and feelings and opinions and make room for something new – my client’s perspective.
THREE | when there is silencein a conversation, how do you feel? Awkward? Uncomfortable? Like you need to fill the silence with speaking? I’d be interested in hearing if anyone knows of a culture in which silence is revered and cultivated (ok, so Buddhism is an obvious one that comes to mind) because I’d like to see if that culture’s reasons are similar to the reason I need to learn to be comfortable with silence as a coach… essentially if I can do this, I will be using a very powerful coaching technique, equivalent to the ability to ask powerful questions. You see, my clients will more than likely not be comfortable with silence, and so if I can create silence, they will more that likely feel the urge to fill that silence and in doing so will share more of themselves with me, perhaps some of what they may have held back otherwise.
FOUR | this week it became clear to me that the work I do in my current role is going to come in very handy as I work towards building my coaching model and process for my business. In my day job, I work with strategies for taking a given audience on a journey from indifference, to insight and into action. It’s a journey that is designed for marketing clients and therefore the actions are usually purchase, log on, subscribe, invest, etc. It will be this same strategic thinking and journey design that will help me to build my coaching model and a powerful tool for delivering results for my clients. That really excites me! While it’s not a complete change in my thinking, it’s a change in the way I can utilise existing thinking for my new pathway.
FIVE| also this week I had a few interceptions from the universe (one was actually an argument with my husband – a very productive one because…) that brought me to uncover and completely commit to my niche for my coaching business. In order to get there, I had to dig deep and ask myself the reasons why my previous niche thoughts just weren’t sitting right with me and then really give some thought to what I am passionate about and will derive emotional fulfillment from if I pursue it as a career. Where did I arrive? I plan on empowering instinctive parents to create positive family structures to raise happy, healthy and balanced kids. (Big thanks goes to my new peer coach for helping me with that elevator pitch!) Stay tuned for much more to come as I build the business and take it live.
So there you have it – a week of reflection and massive broadening of my thinking horizons. I’d love you to make a comment about what you experienced this week that changed your thinking…! Go on, don’t be shy.
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101 Things In 1001 Days Project
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July 31, 2009
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Ruba said:
Great post, thanks for asking, I remember when I joined the school I heard a recording (interview with Ronnie Noize-and instantly became a fan :p), I used to have a problem marketing something as personal as coaching, and this is what she said with regard to whether we are answering to a calling or are looking for profitability.
“In business the reason you are:
1. Doing THIS work, is because it feeds your soul
2. You WORK at all, is because you want the money
3. The reason you are IN business, is because you serve someone well enough to be paid
EVERY business is in service of the community, it provides a service to those who have needs and are willing to pay a price for this need.
Profitability is a GOAL, yet it is not the PURPOSE for being in business”
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August 11, 2009
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Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching said:
Thanks — I really liked this. I’ve also found that just giving someone silent space to unfold in a coaching session can do so much to help them start to trust themselves and others.