Archive for June, 2009
Posted on June 30, 2009 - by Jus
Wise Advice from George Carlin
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…
Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.
Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
Posted on June 30, 2009 - by Jus
#92 – Participate in NaBloPoMo
There seems like no better time to kick off a NaBloPoMo effort than July 2009, and the launch of my new blog here.
The theme for this month is “Routine” but have no fear, I don’t think I plan on boring you all senseless with details of my daily routine, but rather let the theme be the guiding principle by which I will approach my blogging this month – just like brushing my teeth. Once a day – satisfactory. Twice a day – ideal. (Who really brushes more than twice a day, right?)
Posted on June 30, 2009 - by Jus
101 | What Is Coaching
Kicking off with Foundation Coach, the first logical topic is defining what coaching actually is. The reflection task on this topic asks me to respond to these questions.
1. If you have previously worked in a field that is related to coaching, which of the skills you applied in that field are applicable to coaching? Which are not applicable to coaching?
I guess you could say that a lot of my career I have been in a ‘consultant’-style capacity, particularly recently. The ‘consulting’ I have done is often external to the business, however it has sometimes been internal – working with colleagues towards a desired outcome in the workplace or the coaching approach I took with my team members in management positions.
The skills I have learned in my 13+ years in business that will be applicable to my career as a coach are probably;
a) As a strategist, my ability to reframe a client’s objectives from (most times) ‘empty objectives’ to ‘foundational objectives’ and to also identify the questions they have not yet asked themselves that could potentially create barriers to success.
b) As a manager, the coaching approach I have often tried to deploy in ’supporting staff to answer their own questions’ by challenging them to give me their answer, using their experience and knowledge, rather than just providing them with my answer.
c) Again, as a strategist, my ability to see a clear pathway, in stages, from current state to desired end state.
d) After many years of working in a corporate environment, particularly in sales and marketing, I have much business knowledge that may assist me in being a business or corporate coach.
The skills that are probably not applicable to coaching are;
a) My ability to generate my recommended solution to a brief and deliver that to my client – this is a very ‘consultant’ way of doing things.
b) As a strategist, my role is often to ‘direct’ the thinking of the creatives. Being overly prescriptive may go against the principles of coaching.
2. When might you refer a client to a therapist or psychologist for counselling rather than continuing with coaching?
If ever I was to get a sense that my client was not 100% emotionally healthy, I would recommend a client seek a therapist. It’s likely that any emotional healing that needs to be done would stand in the way of them achieving what they set out to do by seeing a life coach, so it’s an important step in their journey, but not one that I am qualified to provide.
It’s probably worth noting that I would most likely refer my clients in this situation to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) as I have personally experienced this form of therapy and found it to be far more empowering and action-oriented than most forms of therapy (ie more in tune with Life Coaching).
3. How is coaching related to mentoring? How is it different?
A mentor is someone with vast experience in a given topic/industry/skill set, and therefore usually older than the mentoree. The relationship between mentor and mentoree is one of knowledge transference, passing on of wisdom and key learnings and insights from mentor to mentoree. The mentoree probably ‘looks up to’ and seeks guidance from his/her mentor.
As a coach, my goal will be to develop a relationship where I walk side by side with my client, where my role is to help my client draw upon their own experience, knowledge and intuition in order to achieve better outcomes.
4. How could a business consultant alter their business to become a business coach? What are the key differences in the services they would provide?
Put simply, a business consultant would have to restructure their business from an ‘advice providing’ solutions approach (in a specific field or speciality) to a more holistic ‘facilitating’ solutions approach (in any field). The services provided in the restructured ‘business coach’ model would be a side-by-side relationship where coach and client examine a business situation together, articulate the desired outcome(s), identify the barriers and devise a plan of action, for which the client takes responsibility for achieving.
5. What is meant by the saying “all coaching is life coaching after the first three sessions”? Do you agree with this statement? Why? Why Not?
I believe this statement is referring to the common experience of most coaches in the Business/Executive coaching area of expertise which sees a coach being appointed to facilitate the achievement of a specific, very rational and business-based objective which is explored and discussed in the first three sessions. However after this time, key barriers to overcome in the action plan for achievement of this objective will no doubt include relationships, communication and family/work balance – three core elements of typical “life” coaching.
I do agree with this statement as coaching is a process of working with human beings, who are emotional, communicative and relationship-oriented creatures. As a result, any coaching relationship with a client is bound to uncover other areas for improvement besides the specific subject the client originally came to the coach for.
Posted on June 29, 2009 - by Jus
Course Curriculum
My Life Coaching study is being done with the International Coach Academy, who are based right here in Melbourne but conduct an internationally accredited course for students all over the world.
As I’ll be talking a lot about this course on this blog, I thought it would be pertinent to give you a little summary of the subjects I’ll be studying and the insights I hope to draw from each topic.
The curriculum I am studying can be summarised as:
Foundation Coach
This will be a basic understanding of Life Coaching and some of the core skills such as powerful listening and giving effective feedback.
Power Tools
The Power Tools subject is just that – powerful tools I can use to move my clients forward. This is one that I most excited about as it is as much about me learning this skills for my own self development as using them in my career ahead.
Advanced Coach Part I
This will provide me with an excellent grounding in coaching techniques and tools. This subject will introduce me to the Coaching Process and to the Peer Coaching Program (where I am coached by a fellow student and in turn I coach other students and friends).
Adavanced Coach Part II
This is designed to extend my knowledge and skills in coaching techniques and tools with greater depth and rigour. By the time I am into this part of the course I will have developed considerable coaching experience from the Peer Coaching Program and will be regularly asked to evaluate the application of theory to practice (and journalling that right here on this blog!). I will also be developing my own Coaching Process and Coaching Model.
Business Building
This subject is run as a facilitated group session with other students from all over the global, so as such it focuses on cross cultural communication skills and international issues in coaching. I will also develop a business and marketing plan through this subject.
Coaching Practicum
This subject focuses on intense coaching practice and feedback. Specifically:
And after all of that, I will be taking a Supervised Coaching subject which is about giving me feedback and to listen to other students participating in live coaching.
I am so excited to get stuck into it and reach my goal of graduating in June 2010. Stap yourself in and enjoy the ride!
Posted on June 28, 2009 - by Jus
The First Year of Marriage
No one tells you how hard the first year of your marriage is going to be.
Well, at least they don’t tell you until after you’d said ‘I do’. I’ve only been married four months (today, in fact) and they have been a challenge enough, so if what everyone is saying is true – these next 8 months are going to be one heck of a ride! Or perhaps, in true Jus Growing form, I have jammed 12 months worth of learning, growing and challenge into a neat four month shaped package.
In the spirit of what I hope Jus Growing will become, I won’t go into the details of the past four months, instead I will share with you what I have learned in a simple “Top 5″ bullet point list. I hope it can be of assistance to others as they take their first tender steps down the aisle.
Top 5 Things I’ve Learned In Four Months Of Marriage:
1. Jerry McGuire’s infamous ‘you complete me’ is not only massively misleading, it’s also potentially misleading a large population of romantics out there. I have learned that no one ‘completes’ me, I am responsible for my own happiness and in order to love the person I am in the relationship, I have to love the person that I am outside of the relationship first.
2. I am a strong woman, fiercely independent and intelligent… and I also often do and say things that make my husband feel emasculated. I have learned to stop being so quick to ‘answer’ – for if I am always giving him ‘the [my] answer’ and making the decision for him, why should I be surprised when he appears to stop thinking on his own?
3. Feeling supported in my marriage has very little to do with how the housework is shared, and everything to do with the way my husband responds to me when I am in a bad mood, am stressed or preoccupied.
4. Taking time for myself is crucial, no essentialy, no mandatory. I work full time, am about to recommence study, am mother to a 6 year old and run a household in all my ’spare’ time. One weekend away without any distractions is all it took to set me back on track. I will aim to do this once every six months from now on.
5. John Gottman is probably the wisest man alive when it comes to relationships.
Posted on June 27, 2009 - by Jus
Change The Way You See Everything
Change The Way You See Everything is a book I read last year, even though it had caught my eye in Borders about a year earlier than this, I’d never gotten around to reading it. It only took about 45 minutes to read and it is truly brilliant in it’s simplicity. The notion of living your life as an Asset Based Thinker instead of a Deficit Based Thinker is really compelling, but certainly not ground breaking.
Interestingly though, this is different from just straight “Positive Thinking” and also slightly removed from the whole law of attraction manifesto of The Secret. Although I am sure the laws of attraction could coexist with Asset Based Thinking (ABT), the premise of how to instill ABT behaviours in your life are quite different from The Secret’s “teachings”.
I remember one of the key insights I had when I was first reading this book is that I found it pretty intriguing that my partner (now husband)considers himself a really positive person, someone that doesn’t let things in life get him down, an ‘optimist’. Yet despite that fact, he is probably also a Deficit Based Thinker (DBT). This book highlighted to me that it’s one thing to present yourself as a positive person, but unless you can back it up with ABT behaviours, then you are probably coming across to others as negative, critical and possibly even condescending.
I will explore more of the principles of ABT and the way I try to apply this thinking to my work, my relationships and my life in more posts to come. Until then, I thoroughly recommend you purchase a copy for yourself!
Posted on June 27, 2009 - by Jus
Life-Coach-To-Be
This time next year (June 2010), I will be graduating from my course and I will be a Certified Practicing Coach.
How do I know this?
Well because several years ago I did a lot of research and determined that this was probably a really great career option for me long term – it would allow me to be helping people and it would also help me to grow within myself through the process of learning and studying to be a Certified Practicing Life Coach.
I did commence my study, but then life kind of got in the way and I didn’t complete it. Thankfully when I signed up for the course, I had made sure that it was one that I could do at my own pace, so I have until June 2010 to complete my study – which is now of course my number one goal in my career.
It’s just one of the reasons for the departure from my old blog and the start of a new chapter. As part of the course, I am required to keep a blog/journal of my study, my insights, my outtakes and how I am applying my learning. Jus Growing will be a large part of that process and even though some of the posts may remain private, I do hope to be as open as possible and take on board as many comments as you wish to share – be they from practicing life coaches, fellow students or anyone else!
I look forward to sharing my Life-Coach-To-Be journey with you.
Posted on June 26, 2009 - by Jus
A New Home
I first started the 101 Things in 1001 Days project on January 1st, 2008. I started that jounrney at a different blog, but since that day a lot of things have changed in my life, so I wanted to clean the slate a little. However, I documented a lot of the experiences that I crossed off my list on that blog, so if you are super keen to see the archives, you may have to wander over there for a moment.
To make it a little bit simpler, if there is a particular experience you’re interested in, you can use this list below as a guide to the archives on my old blog. Remember that I’ll be posting here from now on though, so please sign up for my RSS or check back again soon!
FAMILY
001 | Write my mum a gratitude letter
003 | Get engaged
004 | Get married
006 | Get my son over his fear of Santa
007 | Take Adam to Paris
015 | Take my son camping (in a tent)
016 | Buy a swing set for my son
017 | Bake a cake for my son’s birthday
021 | Fly a kite with my son
FAITH, HEALTH & WELLBEING
028 | Start a social tennis group
029 | Do a fun run
030 | List 101 Things that make me happy
035 | Touch toes w/out bending knees
037 | Read “Change The Way You See Everything”
038 | Cook one new recipe a month
039 | Detox for six weeks
TRAVEL, ENVIRONMENT & EXPERIENCES
040 | Declutter: get rid of 101 material items
041 | Send an anonymous gift or flowers
043 | Visit Tasmania
046 | Take a swing dancing class
051 | Skydive
052 | Visit Phillip Island
053 | Participate in Earth Hour
055 | Dine at these restaurants
056 | Make a cheesecake
058 | See thirty Best Picture Oscar films
059 | Meet my neighbours
060 | Join We Are What We Do & track actions for 60 Days
061 | 5 things from Future Makers
FINANCES
062 | Write a budget & stick to it
065 | Pay off my personal loan debt
067 | Create kids education savings account
068 | Update my will
JUST FOR ME
069 | Hire a cleaner
079 | Get external hard drive & backup
WORK & CREATIVITY
085 | Read The 4 Hour Work Week
STUFF I WANT
096 | A decent BBQ
097 | New dining chairs
099 | Digital video camera
100 | A shelf for my laundry
101 Things In 1001 Days Project
